How to Have Difficult Conversations with Sheila Heen

Stan interviews longtime friend and Harvard professor Sheila Heen about why difficult conversations derail and how to handle them more effectively.They discuss the “hero/villain/victim” stories people tell when frustrated, how smart people can listen poorly by focusing on what’s wrong, and why many conflicts are “switch-track” disagreements where each person thinks the conversation is about something different. The conversation also covers political polarization, complex identities, and Heen’s course on negotiating money, wealth, happiness, and meaning.00:00 Intro03:06 What Makes Talks Hard04:30 Avoidance And Timing06:53 Family Conversation Traps08:54 Hero Villain Victim10:06 Respond To Feelings12:40 Switch Track Conversations14:25 Empathy Versus Assertion18:04 Loss19:43 Intent Versus Impact20:33 Comment Dilemma23:15 Intent/Impact Lesson27:34 Beyond Blame To Contribution29:50 Identity Fuels Polarization33:00 Antidotes To Political Divide34:50 Marriage Conflicts That Persist38:41 Negotiating Money And Self Worth42:36 Money Talks For Couples49:01 Lifestyle Creep And Meaning51:57 Lightning Round Conversation Tools54:58 Resources And FarewellCheck out Sheila at: https://www.stoneandheen.com/training-consultingBuy Her Book: https://www.stoneandheen.com/Host Stan Christensen has spent his career working as a professional negotiator in a variety of arenas. He has also taught a popular course on negotiation at Stanford University for over twenty years.