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by Jeff Cook and T.J. Wilson
The Enneagram is a map of the human personality. It’s a tool for navigating relationships. It creates language for what motivates us and helps us look at the way we look at everything else. Most importantly the enneagram is a mirror; because sometimes you need help seeing yourself.
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"It's important that I'm not perceived as..."The answers uncover the hidden identities each type works to protect—from the Four's fear of being ordinary or misunderstood, to the Three's struggle with competence and authenticity, the Two's desire to remain indispensable and easy to love, and the One's deep concern with integrity, intention, and being seen as fundamentally good.We are wrapping up our dive into the experiences of shame for 4s, 3s, 2s, and 1s.#Enneagram #Shame #BreneBrown #SelfAwareness #PersonalGrowth
Connect with us: HERE_______Hope. Courage. Grief. Longing.Continuing through Brené Brown's Atlas of the Heart, Jeff explores what happens when suffering changes not just how we feel, but how we imagine the future. Why does despair convince us tomorrow will look exactly like today? Why is being unseen in our suffering one of the loneliest human experiences? And why does returning to our center matter so much when life becomes disorienting?At the heart of the discussion is a simple conviction: hope is not naïve optimism. It is the fuel that gives courage something to run on—and perhaps the beginning of every meaningful recovery.
Sex is rarely just about sex.In this conversation, Jeff sits down with sexuality researcher Dr. Sam Greenberg and certified sex therapist Lyndsey Fraser to explore how the Enneagram shapes intimacy, desire, communication, and long-term relationships.Moving beyond stereotypes, they discuss why so many couples struggle with mismatched desire, why "low desire" is often something else entirely, and how each Enneagram type approaches vulnerability, attraction, and connection in distinctive ways.The episode takes a deep dive into two common pairings—Eight/Nine and Four/Six—examining the ways these couples pursue intimacy, avoid rejection, communicate desire, and unknowingly frustrate one another. Along the way, they explore the roles of trust, shame, healthy sexual development, gender expectations, instincts, and why understanding motive can transform the way partners experience one another.Rather than offering one-size-fits-all advice, this conversation argues that healthy sexuality begins with self-awareness. The Enneagram becomes more than a personality system—it becomes a language for expressing desire, understanding your partner, and discovering what intimacy actually asks of us.Connect with Sam HERE and Lyndsey HEREComment on the episode HEREOur Prior Episdoes on Sex and Enneagram are Here and Here.
Join our weekly Reading Room discussions and workshops at : www.aroundthecircle.orgWhy are contradictory emotions so uncomfortable—and why might they actually be signs of growth?In this Reading Room episode, Jeff explores Chapter 5 of Brené Brown's Atlas of the Heart through the lens of the Enneagram. From bittersweetness and nostalgia to cognitive dissonance and paradox, the conversation examines why mature people learn to hold tension rather than rush toward certainty.Drawing on philosophy, psychology, and the Enneagram, this episode explores intellectual humility, reflection versus rumination, and the surprising wisdom found in ambiguity.#Enneagram #BreneBrown #AtlasOfTheHeart #PersonalGrowth #SelfAwareness
Connect with us : HEREShame is often less about what we've done and more about who we fear others think we are.Drawing from Brené Brown's, we explore a simple but revealing prompt: "It's important that I'm not perceived as..."The answers expose the identities each Enneagram type works hardest to protect—and the hidden assumptions that quietly shape our relationships, reactions, and sense of self.Focusing on Types Nine, Eight, Seven, Six, and Five, the conversation examines how unwanted identities trigger shame, why our blind spots are often invisible to us, and how growth begins not by defending ourselves, but by accepting the parts of ourselves we'd rather deny.Join us to talk more about Dr. Brown's Book : HERE
Two return guests! Today, I chat with Remy and BJ, two long-time friends who have helped each other heal from past hurts and traumas. We chat about what it means to be a friend, and how 4s and 2s can have a mutually beneficial relationship due to their stress & security lines.Find BJ's initial episode hereFind Remy's episodes here: Part 1, Part 2Cohort Applications are now LIVE!!!!! Find the application and a list of FAQs on my websiteFollow me on Instagram for updates and more class opportunities
Join the Reading Room: HEREAround the Circle members are invited to our live Tuesday evening discussions as we work through books that deepen our understanding of the Enneagram and the inner life.___What happens when we stop trying to have all the answers?In this episode of Reading Room, Jeff Cook continues through Chapter Four of Brené Brown's Atlas of the Heart, exploring the emotions that arise when life stretches beyond our understanding: awe, wonder, confusion, curiosity, interest, and surprise.The conversation examines why awe reconnects us to the natural world, why confusion may be one of the most important conditions for learning, and why curiosity is not simply a feeling but perhaps one of the great human virtues. Along the way, Jeff reflects on philosophy, science, education, weight training, Einstein, Oppenheimer, and the Enneagram to ask a deeper question:What if growth begins not with better answers, but with better questions?This episode also marks a personal shift. After years of teaching, writing, and producing content built around providing answers, Jeff shares why he believes the next season of his work will be centered on curiosity, conversation, and learning alongside others rather than speaking from certainty.Join us as we continue working through Chapter 4 of Atlas of the Heart and consider what it means to become people who embrace wonder, welcome confusion, and cultivate the courage to remain curious.
Become a Member : HERESign up for Second Saturday : HEREHow do Threes, Sixes, and Nines build relationships—and why do they sometimes suddenly detach from them?In this month's Second Saturday workshop, members of the Around the Circle community explore the unique relational strategies of the Enneagram's attachment types. Together we discuss how Threes create environments of success and affirmation, Sixes cultivate safety and trust, and Nines foster peace and understanding—not only for others, but as a way of experiencing those same realities themselves.The conversation then turns toward the more difficult questions: What leads these types to "cut and run"? How do failure, uncertainty, dismissal, validation, trust, agency, and emotional discomfort shape their relationships? Along the way, participants share remarkably honest personal stories about conflict, belonging, detachment, repair, and growth.One of the richest conversations we've had in this series, this discussion offers a thoughtful look at the ways attachment types connect, disconnect, and learn to stay present when relationships become difficult.
The Enneagram is a map of the human personality. It’s a tool for navigating relationships. It creates language for what motivates us and helps us look at the way we look at everything else. Most importantly the enneagram is a mirror; because sometimes you need help seeing yourself.
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