Why Don’t I Feel Loved? | Sonja Lyubomirsky

What if the issue isn’t whether people love you, but whether you actually feel it? In this episode, Sonja Lyubomirsky joins us to explore the gap between being loved and feeling loved, and why that disconnect happens. Drawing from her book How to Feel Loved, we talk about the psychology behind connection, challenge common myths like love languages, and dig into how curiosity, vulnerability, and better conversations can help you build more meaningful relationships. Topics [0:00] Intro and Speed Round with Sonja Lyubomirsky [11:08] Being Loved vs. Feeling Loved [14:14] Why Love Doesn’t Always “Land” [19:42] Deep Conversations vs. Small Talk [23:47] Vulnerability: The Key to Real Connection [32:01] What Are Love Mindsets? [37:24] Psychological Barriers to Feeling Loved [44:53] The #1 Happiness Tip  [50:51] Are Love Languages Real? [53:23] Music, Focus, and Flow [56:21] Grooving Session: Letting Love In ©2026 Behavioral Grooves Links Groove vs Grind Survey About Sonja How to Feel Loved by Sonja Lyubomirsky and Harry Reis Join us on Substack! Join the Behavioral Grooves community Subscribe to Behavioral Grooves on YouTube Support Behavioral Grooves Musical Links Tina Turner - What’s Love Got To Do With It The Lumineers - Stubborn Love