Hey Olivia, how do I feel the joy for my rainbow baby at the same time I'm planning to end my marriage?

This week's letter is a tender one. A listener wrote in after a pregnancy loss, holding the rainbow baby they prayed for and quietly planning to end their marriage. Everyone around them says how lucky they are. And they are grateful. They're also grieving the baby they lost and the marriage they're leaving, and feeling guilty about all of it. Their question was simple and enormous: "I don't know how to hold the joy and the grief at the same time. How do I hold both?" Since October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, it felt like the right time to answer it.In this Hey Olivia episode of Divorce Happens, I start with what I most want anyone in this spot to hear: you don't have to pick one feeling to be the real one right now. Grateful and heartbroken can live in the same body on the same day. A rainbow baby doesn't erase a pregnancy loss, and the loss doesn't take anything away from the joy. We talk about why everything feels so loud with a newborn (the exhaustion, a body that's still healing, and a huge decision sitting in the middle of it all), why the guilt of being sad during "the happiest chapter" is a script you're allowed to set down, and why it's okay to grieve the marriage itself. Loss can pull two people closer or quietly pull them apart, and sometimes it does both along the way.You'll leave with a few small, practical things to hold onto: a way to give the baby you lost a place that's just yours, one kind sentence for the "but you finally got your baby" comments, and a two-list exercise for the days when gratitude and grief show up together. I also talk about the support that can carry this with you, from a therapist who understands pregnancy loss and perinatal grief to a divorce coach who can take on the logistics. If you're navigating divorce after pregnancy loss, divorce with a newborn, or any season where joy and grief are sharing the same room, this one is for you. Nothing is wrong with you. Both belong.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/💛 The Divorce Happens Community: https://divorcehappens.substack.com/