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by Tonia Chazanow
Honest, spiritual conversations to unravel the essence of the human experience. Exploring Jewish & Chassidic wisdom, women's Torah, and the lived experience of Judaism. Hosted by Tonia Chazanow. Learn more about Human & Holy's work at humanandholy.com.
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- 3 days ago39 min
The Moment that Stuck | Chani Heyman on Raising Kids Who Stay Close as They Grow
Human & Holy is on a season break for the rest of the summer! During this time, we're airing your favorite moments from the past few seasons.How do you instill Jewish values from a young age, while leaving space for a child to grow into them on their own? In this conversation, we talk about why Judaism has to start as routine for young children before it becomes relationship, why “yes, unless you have a value to say no” changes everything with a teenager, the importance of physical touch in raising healthy children, and why mourning openly when our children's religious choices look differently than ours do can do real damage, even when it comes from love. This is a conversation about giving our children strong roots in their Judaism, and navigating the evolution from childhood to adulthood, as they begin to make their own choices in their relationship with G-d.Chani Heyman is a dynamic parenting coach, motivational speaker, educator, and Torah teacher who's passionate about empowering families to thrive. Originally from Los Angeles, Chani now calls Israel home. With a background rooted in the timeless wisdom of Rebbetzin Spetner and her own experiences as a mother of eight, Chani shares practical and inspiring guidance with parents worldwide.Through her engaging group classes, popular parenting column, and vibrant Instagram community @parentingwithchani, Chani sparks meaningful connections and helps families unlock their full potential. Find out more at https://theparentingclub.info.* * * * * * *To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at info@humanandholy.comTo support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor.Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts.* * * * * * *TIMESTAMPS:00:00 How to build Yiddishkeit routines that feel as natural as brushing teeth01:06 Building the routine: start at the smallest sustainable level06:24 The teen shift09:13 Foundation vs. peer pressure10:45 The reframe: “Yes, unless you have a value to say no”11:38 Choosing your battles 12:49 “Copy paste” — are we raising kids to replicate our table, or to be halachically their own person?14:41 Finding a rav to define the lowest level that is still 100% halacha — the loose-fitting-pants story16:44 When your child doesn't look like you17:44 Is “because it would make my mother happy” a legitimate motivation for a teen’s mitzvah observance?21:43 Why building the habit before the meaning arrives is so much easier than trying to build both at once at 2022:17 Parental fear and projection 22:34 For ba’alei teshuva parents specifically — “I’m trying to give you what I didn’t have,” and why force backfires23:33 Beyond 100% halacha — what it looks like when a child’s practice truly diverges25:36 “Keep your relationship strong” 27:03 The sapling-and-tree image 28:17 The emotional baseline — what it is, and why it differs by age28:26 Ten minutes of true one-on-one time30:33 For teens: it’s not about the ten minutes, it’s about being available the moment they want you32:15 Modeling adult relationships 33:37 Physical touch as an emotional need 35:40 The mother who couldn’t remember the last time she’d touched her 19-year-old son38:45 Host's Outro
- 1 weeks ago28 min
The Moment That Stuck | Jackie Glaser: When Turning to G-d Becomes a Way to Hide From Yourself
Human & Holy is on a season break for the rest of the summer! During this time, we're airing your favorite moments from the past few seasons.In today's excerpt with Jackie Glaser, we cover spiritual bypassing, noticing the patterns that keep showing up in our lives, cultivating self-worth and self-trust, navigating rejection, our flaws as filters while dating, recognizing that matchmakers do not have control over people's future when navigating the shidduch system, and strengthening our trust in God. To watch the full episode this excerpt is from, click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=243HxQfOx9ETo contact Jackie or learn more about her courses, you can find her at jackieglaser.com or find Jackie on Instagram: datingbyjackieg * * * * * * *To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at info@humanandholy.comTo support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor.Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts.* * * * * * *TIMESTAMPS:0:00 Spiritual bypassing2:04 How our patterns are signposts from Hashem, not punishments3:07 Why we avoid taking responsibility, and turn anxiety into blaming Hashem instead5:27 Going inward with compassionate curiosity instead of judgment7:11 Turning to G-d as an escape hatch7:21 Normalizing the pattern before moving forward9:08 Self-trust as the real foundation behind who you marry9:17 The somatic work begins: tuning into the body as a source of real data12:45 Surrendering 14:23 Clearing subconscious blockage to make more room for closeness with Hashem16:13 How our internal beliefs get projected onto strangers 17:35 Why healing the felt state dissolves the belief system underneath it18:58 How the fear of rejection actually dissolves with this work20:42 "I reject myself" — the most important relationship you'll ever build is with you22:23 Disability or flaws as a filter in dating, not a disqualifier24:05 Boundaries with matchmakers25:44 When parents choose to "play the game" with a difficult shadchan for their child's sake26:27 Hashem was never limited to a shadchan
- 2 weeks ago48 min
The Questions Women Don't Ask Out Loud | Dena Block
A conversation about women's health & Jewish law, the more sensitive questions hidden behind women's seemingly straightforward halachic questions, how the concept of a Yoetzet Halacha came about, the difference between a halachic ruling and halachic advice, why the advice of "don't look at the toilet paper" can sometimes do more harm than good, the evolution of halachic thinking on IVF, the medical red flags that can be associated with "halachic infertility", the questions Dena gets most often, the ones that break her heart, and the ones that surprise her the most. Dena Block is the Co-Director of Nishmat's Miriam Glaubach Center. Previously, she served as the Center's Associate Director and as a Yoetzet Halacha for several congregations throughout the tri-state area. She taught Gemara and Halacha at Ma'ayanot Yeshiva High School for Girls in Teaneck, NJ, where she also served as Director of Admissions. A graduate of the first class of Nishmat's Miriam Glaubach Center's U.S. Yoatzot Halacha Fellows Program, Dena worked on numerous MGC initiatives to broaden the impact of of Yoatzot Halacha before joining the Center full-time in 2021. Dena lives in Raanana with her husband and 5 children and can be reached at Dena@afnishmat.org[00:00] Welcome Dena Block [01:00] Meeting women where they're at[01:50] Defining the term "Yoetzet Halacha" (women's halachic advisor)[02:48] The origin story: why the role was created[03:30] How women were being more stringent on themselves in silence, not more lenient — and the health/marital cost of that silence[04:24] Why more questions asked = more comfort, not less trust in rabbinic authority[05:00] How a Yoetzet answers — always with context, not just yes/no, to empower future understanding[05:48] The "question behind the question" — when the real issue isn't the halachic one[05:52] Example: a woman asking to go to mikvah early — the real story underneath[07:44] How that extra context changes the answer a posek gives[08:11] Story: a woman whose ongoing staining was actually a birth control issue [10:15] Defining the boundary between a Yoetzet and a rav/posek[11:06] What "psak" actually means vs. general halachic knowledge[12:00] Judgment calls vs. established rulings [12:16] Should women be taught to examine their own bedikah cloths? [16:27] The bigger question — why can't a woman hold a halachic ruling position?[18:23] The humility and reverence in deepened knowledge[20:47] How halacha creates unusual bodily attunement[24:41] Why "don't look at the toilet paper" is advice Dena wants retired [27:36] What IVF is and the original halachic concerns when it emerged[28:11] The concern over hashchatat zera (wasting seed) and how sperm collection is handled[29:36] How halachic opinion evolved as the technology became safer and more regulated[32:54] Common misconceptions about halachic infertility[34:34] Why a very short cycle can be a medical red flag, not just a halachic inconvenience [35:22] Halachic literacy often reveals underlying health issues[35:23] Why unexplained staining should always prompt a doctor visit, even when it's halachically minor[37:08] Misconceptions around halacha and sexuality[38:53] The most common question Dina receives [39:35] The hardest questions — women asking about mikvah while heading toward divorce[40:31] The range of what women are carrying — infertility, loss, mental health, marital strain[40:48] What makes Dina feel hopeful — when a woman expects "no" and hears "yes"[41:43] Witnessing halachic commitment and sacrifice[42:00] The number one thing women struggle with in this mitzvah — physical separation and lack of touch, more than the absence of sex itself[43:25] How the separation period affects men too, not just women[44:03] The biggest friction point between couples — the story of a woman who lied about her niddah status to avoid intimacy[46:26] Most unexpected mikvah locations[47:23] Closing questio
- 3 weeks ago1h 31m
Why I Stopped Waiting for a Miracle | Chavie Bruk
A conversation about the gritty, messy experience of faith when the things you want are not a "not yet" but a "no", life as a mother of five adopted children while grieving a permanent infertility diagnosis, why sometimes we need to stop waiting for a miracle, trying again and being told “no” again by God after 20 years of accepting, the impact of life setbacks on marriage and being willing to get support, the spiritual framework that makes Chavie's faith possible, and choosing to live with joy even when life doesn’t go as planned. Chavie Bruk is the host of Totally Unexpected!, a podcast featuring long-form interviews that uncover the one unexpected moment that shaped her guests’ lives. She is the author of a weekly blog on Substack, a sought-after public speaker, and a passionate advocate for adoption and infertility awareness. She and her husband are the directors of Chabad-Lubavitch of Montana, where they have spent nearly two decades building Jewish life out west and are the parents of five adopted children. She is an avid reader, traveler, fitness and health enthusiast, and endlessly curious about this messy ride we all call life.Listen to Totally Unexpected! wherever you get your podcasts and read her blog at www.totallyunexpected.blog.Chavie can be reached on Instagram @chaviebruk or by email atchaviebruk@gmail.comTo inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at info@humanandholy.comTo support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor.00:00 Introducing Chavie Bruk 02:52 Chavie introduces herself04:23 Seasons of family vs. seasons of community service08:39 Why she lets her community see the harder parts of her life10:42 Permanent infertility diagnosis 15:33 Choosing to live fully inside the hardest years instead of just surviving them17:22 The "why me" question — and how it eventually became "how"20:11 Acceptance isn't linear — re-accepting the same grief at a deeper layer, years later22:50 Holding grief and gratitude at the same time23:09 Her unconventional relationship to miracles — the decision she made on her 30th birthday26:02 When spiritual belief becomes spiritual bypassing — and how to tell the difference29:12 On waiting: traveling with a child with special needs instead of waiting for "someday"34:00 Living in the thick of life — why she started her podcast without waiting for it to be easier35:25 The toll hard circumstances take on a marriage — and the stigma around therapy40:24 Learning your couple's "trigger dance," and the tools that actually hold a marriage together51:04Turning a canceled marriage-counseling slot into a standing weekly coffee date53:16What it actually looks like to grieve a life that didn't turn out how you expected54:11 The twinge she feels when someone close to her gets pregnant — and giving it room instead of shame58:56 The story she's never said out loud before: a new fertility possibility reopens after 20 years1:00:09 Saying no, then yes, then the test — and the result1:02:20 "Why did You do that?" — wrestling openly with Hashem after the door closed again1:04:38 What her therapist helped her see: this wasn't a setback, it was another layer of healing1:07:07 "That's not my story" — choosing what this experience gets to mean1:11:14 Not every "not yet" is a not-yet — sometimes it's a no, and that's its own form of faith1:13:33 Faith isn't feeling good when things go well — it's staying okay when they don't1:14:22 Why she teaches Tanya — the mechanics of the spiritual world as grounding, not platitude1:17:18 Living in the present moment as the antidote to shame about the past and fear of the future1:22:36 Real bitachon isn't toxic positivity — Hashem wants your anger too, not just your best behavior1:24:47 What "messy" actually looks like behind a polished, recorded conversation1:26:35 Knowing your own constitution — why she's "fire," not Zen, and why that's not a flaw to fix1:28:03 Rapid fire & outro
- Jun 14, 202639 min
Am I a Follower of the Lubavitcher Rebbe?
I recently opened a box of my middle school journals, and found the question that has followed me for nearly twenty years: could I honestly call myself a chossid of a Rebbe I had never met? In honor of Gimmel Tammuz, the anniversary of the Lubavitcher Rebbe's passing, I explore some of the questions that have gnawed at me for as long as I can remember: Should my relationship to the Rebbe be defined by longing? Am I fundamentally missing out on a nostalgic, golden age of Chabad if I never met him? What distinct message did the Rebbe have for a generation with a strong emphasis on the self? Is our determination to feel deeply "aligned" with our life choices a flaw, or a gift? Was the Rebbe passing on the baton, and if yes, to who?Drawing on a community survey and a close reading of V'atah Tetzaveh, this episode explores the generational shift the Rebbe himself outlined, what a relationship shaped by ignition, not loss, might look like, and how the Rebbe encouraged each person to step into their mission, to embrace the specificity of their identities and be the unique, unrepeatable messengers of Hashem the world is waiting for. * * * * * * *To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at info@humanandholy.comTo support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor.Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts.* * * * * * *TIMESTAMPS:00:00 Finding my middle school journals01:33 "Do we have the right to call ourselves a Chossid?" 04:00 Should I yearn for the physical presence of a Rebbe I never met?06:00 Growing up on shlichus in Houston, TX 08:30 The enormous grief of Gimmel Tammuz 10:30 The community survey about the Rebbe12:00 The message from the Rebbe that changed people's lives13:15 Would you call yourself a chossid?14:30 The final piece of the Torah the Rebbe distributed15:30 Generation of self-sacrifice vs. religious freedom17:55 Exploring V'atah Tetzaveh19:30 What is higher than self-sacrifice?21:36 Why connect to a Tzadik?24:00 This generation's power27:00 The specificity of who you are is your mission30:00 Every person can be a Rebbe33:00 When the Rebbe passed on the baton35:58 Am I a follower of the Lubavitcher Rebbe?37:48 The vision of Moshiach 38:50 Outro
- Jun 7, 20261h 21m
Raising Children When You're Still Figuring It Out | Elisheva Segelman
An honest, joyful, and deeply practical conversation about Jewish parenting. We talk about how to genuinely infuse your home with love of Judaism, what to do when you want to teach a value you don't fully keep yourself, the difference between an inherited Judaism and discovered Judaism, how to see every child as an individual, and what to do when your child doesn't fit the school system. We explore confidence-building for kids who struggle academically or socially, the balance between school and home, and why the home is more powerful than we give it credit for. We also talk about technology and eye contact, parenting without controlling, and how to stay open to who your child is actually becoming. * * * * * * *Mrs. Elisheva Segelman is a respected educator, mentor, and community leader whose warmth, wisdom, and dedication have impacted students, families, and community members across a wide range of settings. She currently serves as the Program Director at Yavneh Hebrew Academy in Los Angeles and as the Mashgicha Ruchanit for the middle school girls, where she is known for her ability to inspire meaningful personal growth, cultivate strong relationships, and help students develop a deep connection to Torah and Jewish values.Mrs. Segelman also serves as the Rebbetzin of the Young Israel of Hancock Park, where she plays an active role in supporting and enriching the spiritual life of the community. A highly sought-after kallah teacher, she has guided countless brides with sensitivity, wisdom, and genuine care. During the summer months, she serves as the Director of Orah Day Camp in Far Rockaway, New York, where she oversees a thriving camp program and mentors both campers and staff.Together with her husband, Rabbi Elan Segelman, Mrs. Segelman has served Jewish communities in both New York and Los Angeles. Since moving to Los Angeles in 2021, she has become a beloved presence in the community, known for her dedication to Torah, education, chesed, and helping others navigate life's opportunities and challenges with confidence and faith. Rabbi and Mrs. Segelman are the proud parents of six children.* * * * * * *To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at info@humanandholy.comTo support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor.Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts.* * * * * * *TIMESTAMPS:0:00 Host's Intro1:44 Introducing Elisheva Segelman4:22 Parenting with the long view — seeing your child as a future adult6:58 Transparency and authenticity at home9:19 What if you hate Pesach? Finding the Jewish joy you actually feel13:23 Is it hypocrisy? Teaching a value you don't fully keep yourself17:39 The Finding Nemo story: what we expose children to leaves a mark21:00 The power of your home: what you fill it with is yours to choose23:18 Family pride and identity as a vessel for Judaism27:11 Inherited Judaism vs. discovered Judaism30:17 Seeing past your child's grades and struggles 32:36 The teacher who changed everything35:10 "Just because you failed a class doesn't mean you're a failure as a human"38:42 Choosing the right school for your specific child45:14 "You are fingerprinting the world with the next generation of humans"52:37 School vs. home — where does the real education happen?57:13 Social struggles — what every child needs to know59:32 Eye contact, technology, and what our children are actually asking for1:02:56 Staying open to who your child becomes1:05:31 Three practical things to infuse your home with Judaism1:10:52 It's never too late to change course1:12:32 Building your support system as a parent1:15:01 Soul to soul message 1:16:00 The "feel good folder" and surrounding yourself with the right people
- May 31, 202654 min
You Are Harder on Yourself Than G-d Is | Karen Hochhauser
The Torah opens up with failure after failure, we have laws of repair (teshuvah) baked into our Judaism, and yet many who live a value-driven life live in enormous fear of failing. Why are we harder on ourselves than G-d is?Today, we talk about the Jewish perspective on failure, along with Karen's own experiences. How do you hold your mistakes seriously without becoming them? Does forgiving yourself mean letting yourself off the hook? We get into the Rambam's laws of teshuva, Rav Soloveitchik's framework of fate versus destiny, and a seminary interview answer that always made Karen uncomfortable. * * * * * * *With more than 25 years of dedicated experience in Jewish education, Karen Hochhauser brings a deep passion for learning and leadership to her role as Co-Director of the Miriam Glaubach Center. In this senior leadership position she helps guide the Center’s mission of supporting, educating and certifying Yoatzot Halacha—women trained as halachic advisors—and of strengthening communities across North America and beyond. Prior to this appointment, Karen spent 17 years at Tiferet, a thriving seminary in Ramat Beit Shemesh, both as a teacher and an administrator. During that time she developed expertise in mentoring young adults, designing and implementing enriching programs, and cultivating vibrant educational communities.She holds a B.A. in English Literature and an M.A. in Jewish Education from Yeshiva University. Karen lives in Beit Shemesh with her husband. Dr. Carl Hochhauser, and their five children. Find her on instagram @torahwithmymother. Karen can be reached at Karen@afnishmat.orgTo inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at info@humanandholy.comTo support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor.Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts.* * * * * * *TIMESTAMPS:0:00 — We are much harder on ourselves than G-d is1:16 — Why the Torah begins with a series of human catastrophes2:46 — "Failure is almost a four-letter word in my house" 5:04 — Adam, Kayin, Noach: what the Torah's biggest stumbles have in common8:55 — Failure is inevitable. So why did Hashem design it that way?9:01 — The Rambam's radical idea: return is always possible10:53 — Asking for forgiveness vs. granting it, which is actually harder?11:18 — The mirror exercise: what it really means to forgive yourself12:38 — The seminary interview answer Karen couldn't stand13:51 — The difference between shame that destroys and accountability that heals15:26 — Chapter one of Tanya: why calling yourself a rasha is dangerous17:32 — Rav Soloveitchik's fate vs. destiny 21:10 — From "why is this happening to me" to "what am I going to do with this"22:01 — Can failure be fate? 23:59 — The missed train on the way to a lecture about failure 25:22 — "You don't have to do it alone" 26:22 — Was your worst mistake destined? 28:41 — The responsibility to respond 44:23 — Why letting your kids fail at small things is an act of love45:59 — When the suffering isn't your fault at all46:00 — The rabbi of the Warsaw Ghetto, what he wrote in his final year48:50 — "G-d is right next to us, crying" 50:50 — What it means to not be alone in your pain52:37 — "Hashem believes in you. So you need to believe in yourself."
- May 24, 20261h 7m
It Already Belongs to You | Annie Nagel & Hadassah Shemtov on Women's Torah Study
Does the Torah belong to every woman? This week, I host a roundtable with two women who've built their lives around Torah: Annie Nagel, who left a thriving law career for the classroom and a PhD in Tanakh, and Hadassah Shem Tov, founder of Batsheva Learning Center. We trace the halachic sources on women's Torah study, where the historic hesitation came from, and the Lubavitcher Rebbe's radical reframe: that women's learning isn't damage control, but the direction history was always moving towards.We also talk about the practical experience of Torah study for women: How do you keep Torah alive when you're working eighty hours a week with three babies? What does learning look like in a season when deep scholarship simply isn't possible? And what would it take for the next generation of girls to believe, without question, that no Jewish book on the shelf is off-limits to them?EPISODE SPONSOR: This week's episode was sponsored by a woman who wants to empower other women to learn and take ownership of their birthright within Torah. * * * * * * *To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at info@humanandholy.comTo support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor.Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts.* * * * * * *TIMESTAMPS:00:00 "The Torah belongs to every woman" — who this episode is for02:19 Annie's story: from law to a classroom and a PhD in Tanakh04:42 Hadassah's story: the year in Israel that set her trajectory07:32 "I'm not making the time I want to for my own learning"09:26 What the pivot cost Annie: trade-offs and peers making partner13:55 Framing the sources: were we all really at Sinai?16:07 The halacha, plainly: are women obligated in Torah study?21:33 Why the hesitation was about an era, not about women's minds22:03 Moshe waits a day: Hashem holds back the Shechinah until every woman is there24:14 Do women feel the Torah is theirs?28:03 How Annie kept Torah alive when life was consuming33:08 The Lubavitcher Rebbe's reframe: not a concession to the times, but the trajectory toward Moshiach38:19 The common language of the house is Torah42:54 The "living Torah" — when your whole life is already an offering47:00 "Listen to what stirs your neshama" — Torah study without pressure or guilt50:01 Why reading it yourself is irreplaceable53:35 What would it take for the next generation to know the Torah is theirs?54:08 Ending the split between text and hashkafa58:00 "No sefer on the shelf is off-limits to you"01:00:13 Rapid fire: one text to start with, the woman who lost her practice, where to begin from zero01:06:18 One message, soul to soul01:07:00 Closing
About Human & Holy
Honest, spiritual conversations to unravel the essence of the human experience. Exploring Jewish & Chassidic wisdom, women's Torah, and the lived experience of Judaism. Hosted by Tonia Chazanow. Learn more about Human & Holy's work at humanandholy.com.
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