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Infinite Devotion: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Andrew & Dawn - infinitedevotion.com
Most long-term relationships end up in the same place. Two good people who love each other, living like roommates, wondering where the fire went and whether it's ever coming back. Andrew and Dawn refused to accept that this was just what love becomes. Infinite Devotion is the podcast for people who want both. Deep intimacy and intense desire, with the same person, for a lifetime, in a way that gets better instead of fading. Not as a fantasy, but as something that is actually possible, and actually lived. Andrew draws from more than fifteen years of marriage to Dawn, years that started out intense and spicy, went all the way down into a dead bedroom and codependent silence, and all the way back to something even better. This is everything they walked through together to come out the other side into something neither of them knew was available. The lessons learned in that process have nothing to do with techniques or strategies. They have everything to do with who you actually are underneath all of the performing, what masculine and feminine energy actually are and why they matter, and what becomes possible when two people stop hiding and start showing up as themselves. Dawn joins the conversation when she has something to say. Between the two of them, you get both sides of what this actually looks like from the inside of a conscious, fully alive marriage. Each episode goes deep into the real causes of why love loses its heat, what it takes to bring it back, and what a relationship built on genuine polarity, embodiment, and devotion can become over a lifetime. This is not relationship advice. This is what happens when two people refuse to settle.
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- 2 days ago1h 11m
Powerful at Work, Powerless at Home: Leading a Strong Woman with GS Youngblood | Infinite Devotion Episode 152
Powerful at Work, Powerless at Home: Leading a Strong Woman with GS Youngblood | Infinite Devotion Episode 152 I haven't had a guest on this show in over a year. I decided I'd only bring someone on if I really wanted to talk to them, and it took a year to find that person. GS Youngblood is the author whose books I've bought and given away more than anyone else's, and when he talks to men about relationships, you can hear that he has lived every word. GS spent seventeen years in the tech industry before a divorce left him feeling like a failure and sent him looking for a better way. Twenty years of study, and a thirteen-year relationship with a woman who carries both a strong feminine and a strong masculine, became the laboratory for his Masculine Blueprint: three elements that, embodied daily, put a man back in his masculine core and let his woman feel safe enough to open. In this episode we get into: Why so many men run teams at work and fold the moment their woman gets upset Respond versus react, and why good intentions vanish the second the fight starts The little boy trying to get out of trouble, and where that "oh shit" feeling really comes from "I may or may not be the problem, but I am the solution," and how to take full responsibility without drowning in blame The trifecta of embodiment practice, therapy, and coaching How to feel deeply without becoming the "emotional flow boy," and what it means to hold your emotions and share them judiciously Logistical, emotional, and sexual leadership, and why all of it starts with inner clarity What to do when she asks you to lead and then shoots down every attempt The sentence his ex-wife said that took him years to fully understand: "I can do all this stuff. I just don't want to have to." Strong spine, big heart Holding her fire, setting a boundary without leaving connection, and the line between a hard truth and actual abuse Why everything she feels is accurate to something, even when it doesn't match the facts The fear most women carry that most men never account for Connect with GS Youngblood Website: https://gsyoungblood.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/gsyoungbloodmir Books (on Amazon): The Masculine in Relationship and The Art of Embodiment for Men More from Infinite Devotion Blog: https://infinitedevotion.com/blog Free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources Instagram: https://instagram.com/_infinitedevotion Want to go deeper? All our courses and coaching: https://infinitedevotion.com/store CHAPTERS & TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro 00:48 Why His Work Resonates 02:38 The Leadership Challenge 04:42 Origin of the Blueprint 08:04 Doing vs Embodying 11:19 Three Blueprint Elements 11:44 Respond Versus React 17:18 Nervous System Over Mindset 18:36 Responsibility Without Blame 23:43 Deescalating Conflict Fast 27:16 Feeling Emotions Like a Man 31:29 Flow Boy vs Containment 34:02 Provide Structure Leadership 35:15 Inner Clarity to Lead 37:11 Logistical Emotional Sexual Leadership 38:53 Why Leading Gets Rejected 39:30 Build Conviction and Start Small 42:24 Finding Inner Clarity 45:49 Work Mode vs Relationship Mode 53:12 Safety and Emotional Containment 56:49 Boundaries and Abuse Labels 01:05:59 Fear Empathy and Truth
- 1 weeks ago1h 11m
Why I'm Not Threatened When Other Men Want My Wife | Infinite Devotion Episode 151
Dawn sat down with a list of questions and didn't tell me what was on it. We were both in tears within the first five minutes. A few weeks ago I posted, "I don't want you to be mine. I want you to be free and choose to stay." On Facebook it reached over a million people, and plenty of them were angry. One said that giving a partner that much freedom will turn even the best person into a bully. Another asked if it meant Dawn was done surrendering. This episode answers both. It's also the first time I've told the story of what happened on a beach in Los Angeles seven months ago, when I asked Dawn to stand up. We also get into why most men's ideas about leading are really about getting, what faith becomes once it stops being a way to avoid questions, and why male, man, and masculine mean three different things. In this episode: What we each love about ourselves and each other (it got emotional fast) The beach in LA, and why I asked Dawn to stand before offering her a new symbol of her surrender Dawn on finding her own wholeness and choosing to follow from there instead of from self-abandonment Why freedom doesn't turn your partner into a bully, and why I don't set boundaries on what Dawn can do Two sentences that make everything make sense: there are no contradictions, and check your premises Why your body sometimes has to learn to trust you again before you can fully trust it Walking out of Catholic education at 13, and what faith means to us now Male, man, and masculine, and what actually makes a male become a man Do I get a blowjob every day? (No. And the men who want one are giving themselves away.) Why other men seeing and wanting Dawn doesn't threaten me Marriage as a choice you make every single day The teachers who've shaped me most, and the one I've learned the most from by far The book: Infinite Devotion comes out November 10. Join the email list at https://infinitedevotion.com to get notified when it's available! More from Infinite Devotion: Blog: https://infinitedevotion.com/blog Free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources Instagram: https://instagram.com/_infinitedevotion Want to go deeper? All our courses and coaching: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
- 2 weeks ago44 min
Why I No Longer Have a Love Language (It Was Lying to Me) | Infinite Devotion Episode 150
Everyone knows their love language. Couples quiz each other on it, therapists assign the book as homework, and it gets treated as the starting point of relational wisdom. In this episode I take the framework apart. Your love language is real, and it is telling you something true. It is a precise map of where your emptiness lives: the exact spot where your okayness depends on your partner's behavior. I share my own story with words of affirmation, how the neediness underneath it played out with Dawn for years, and what finally filled the void that no amount of her words ever could. In this episode: What Gary Chapman actually got right, and where the prescription built on top of it goes wrong What each of the five love languages confesses about where your self-abandonment lives Where the emptiness comes from, and why your partner can never fill it Three tests you can run tonight: joy or relief, what happens if they stop, and who you were really excited for when you found the quiz How my collapse into neediness pressed on Dawn's oldest wounds Why love from outside only ever lands on the performance Inner child work: the only substance shaped like the hole What love languages become when neither person needs anything Read the full companion post on the blog: https://infinitedevotion.com/blog/why-i-no-longer-have-a-love-language-it-was-lying-to-me Have a question about this episode? Send it through the contact page at infinitedevotion.com and I will answer it on a future Q&A. Questions for Dawn are welcome too; she will take them on in a future Ask Dawn Anything. If this episode was valuable to you, a five star review takes fifteen seconds and helps us reach more people. It is the only thing I will ever ask of you. More from Infinite Devotion: Blog: https://infinitedevotion.com/blog Free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources Instagram: https://instagram.com/_infinitedevotion Want to go deeper? All our courses and coaching: https://infinitedevotion.com/store CHAPTERS & TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Love Languages Hype 01:35 Framework vs Prescription 03:51 Love Language as Emptiness Map 07:21 Where Emptiness Comes From 16:02 Why It Turns Transactional 22:33 Relief or Joy Tests 24:30 Andrew and Dawn Story 33:06 Filling the Void Within 38:32 Love Without Strings 41:15 Use Love Language as Diagnosis 43:51 Closing and Next Steps
- 3 weeks ago48 min
How To Be Untriggerable | Infinite Devotion Episode 149
How to Be Untriggerable | Infinite Devotion Episode 149 In this week’s episode Dawn and I dig into a word I've used for years, one that keeps coming back to me from listeners, especially men: untriggerable. This episode is about what that word actually means to us, why most people go about it the wrong way, and what it's really taken for us to get to the other side of the things that used to set us off. In This Episode Why the word "untriggerable" resonates with so many people, and why nobody wants to feel triggered in the first place Why we can't discipline our way into being untriggerable, and why effort and force actually work against us The real definition: being untriggerable means encountering the thing that used to upset us and having it not upset us anymore, not forcing ourselves to not react Why we have to let ourselves get triggered, fully and repeatedly, instead of trying to shut the reaction down The four survival responses, fight, flight, freeze, and fawn, and how each one has shown up differently for each of us Why the fawn response is likely the most common one in men, and how it shows up as the "nice guy" pattern Why being untriggerable is never about the moment we're in, it's about what happens next time How resisting a trigger keeps it alive, and why trying to talk ourselves out of a feeling is the same suppression that created the pattern to begin with Gabor Maté's idea that trauma is self-inflicted, meaning the event is one thing and the ongoing suffering we build on top of it is another How single-sentence beliefs get written in childhood, before language even exists, and how life keeps handing us "evidence" for them Why it can take until your late 30s or 40s for these patterns to run out of road The different way triggers show up for men and women: women often protect the physical body, men often protect the heart, and why understanding that difference matters more than fully relating to it Why "your triggers are gifts" is true even though it hasn't felt that way to us in the moment Why this whole process isn't something we can do perfectionistically, and what it's actually felt like as it's started to change for us Quotes Worth Sitting With "You can't discipline yourself out of a reaction." "Being untriggerable isn't about this time. Think about next time." "Every attempt to talk yourself out of feeling what you're already feeling is the whole process just keeping itself alive." "The trauma is all based in the reaction that we have to it, and the meanings that we make out of it."
- Sep 7, 202652 min
The Kid Nobody Picked: An Open Q&A With My Men's Group | Infinite Devotion Episode 148
The Kid Nobody Picked: An Open Q&A With My Men's Group | Infinite Devotion Episode 148 Every Wednesday morning I get on a call with the men inside Becoming a Dominant Man and answer their questions. This time I flipped it and told them to ask me anything. They did. What came back was a mix of the light and the heavy, which is how life actually goes. My bike. My sex toys, or lack thereof. What it actually takes to prepare for a nomadic life. How you get a dog to the vet without an address. And the friend who died at 38 a few days before this call, and what that did to my thinking about power exchange, plans, and time. The heaviest question was the one about what makes me different as a dominant man. The answer is nothing, except that I've been willing to sit down with the seven year old who got picked on all day and let him say what he never got to say. Including the part where I admitted, out loud, that I still half believe nobody likes me. In this episode: The bike I ride and why drop bars saved my shoulders Best and worst part of RV life (same answer for both) Whether constant novelty kills novelty My two biggest challenges building a 24/7 power exchange, and why life never gets in the way of it Ten years of preparation, six months of purging, and the storage unit I now regret Why community on the road is still the problem I haven't solved Escapees mail service, Banfield, Discount Tire, and the unglamorous logistics of no fixed address Abundance as acceptance, Carl Jung, and the two year old running most men's lives Why a sailboat would be a hundred times harder than an RV The only honest answer to "where's your favorite place you've been" More from Infinite Devotion: Blog: https://infinitedevotion.com/blog Free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources Instagram: https://instagram.com/_infinitedevotion Want to go deeper? All our courses and coaching: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
- Aug 31, 202657 min
Ask Dawn Anything: Your Fear Is What Drives Away What You Want | Infinite Devotion Episode 147
We haven't done one of these in a long time, so we sat down by the fire and answered your questions. Yours, all 6,500 plus of you who follow along on email and social, and Dawn's own following too. This week is every safe for work question you sent in. The sexual ones, the kinky ones, those are coming soon to the paid platforms. In this episode Dawn gets into: How she handles getting emotionally dysregulated without asking me to fix her, and why "help me" used to be a crutch Practicing trust and surrender when the future of your marriage feels genuinely uncertain The fear of losing this connection, and why what you're actually afraid of is never what you think it is Why "life gets in the way" is the wrong frame entirely, and what to do instead Her advice for a younger dom sub couple trying to build something that lasts How she handles public opinion, criticism, and being recognized in public Her favorite version of me that almost nobody else ever gets to see What she's had to unlearn about sex, marriage, and monogamy What she thinks couples misunderstand most about staying alive to each other over the long haul Our actual morning and evening routines, no filter How I show up for her when she's sick What to do when your partner's preferences don't match your needs, and how to tell the difference between a hard no and a freeze response The words that actually comfort her when she's struggling, and why there's no perfect sentence a man can say How she handles it when she feels like I'm dropping the ball, and why that question itself was worth taking apart And the one we get asked every single time we do one of these: when exactly did she fall from heaven All the NSFW questions, the sexual ones, the dirty ones, the kinky ones, will be coming in the weeks ahead on Dawn's OnlyFans and inside the Infinite Devotion Community. Keep an eye out. Dawn's OnlyFans: https://dawnofdesire.net Infinite Devotion Community: https://community.infinitedevotion.com Listen to the full episode: Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion More from Infinite Devotion: Blog: https://infinitedevotion.com/blog Free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources Instagram: https://instagram.com/_infinitedevotion Want to go deeper? All our courses and coaching: https://infinitedevotion.com/store CHAPTERS & TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Fireside Chat Setup 02:09 Ask Dawn Anything Begins 03:08 Self Regulation and Support 06:47 Surrender in Crisis 09:57 Keeping the Dynamic Alive 15:02 Fear of Losing Connection 16:44 Advice for Engaged Couples 19:25 Handling Public Image 22:33 Containment and Desire 28:04 Favorite Side of Andrew 29:51 Unlearning Marriage Myths 31:31 Desire Keeps Love Alive 33:23 Fantasy Versus Real Kinks 33:54 Learning Self Love 36:11 Morning Night Rituals 38:33 Care When Sick 39:53 Needs Wants And No 43:54 Support Without Fixing 49:24 Sub Dom Control Trap 54:52 Closing And Heaven Joke
- Aug 24, 20261h 3m
How Good Can This Get? Leadership, Health, and Loving Her Body Better Than a Doctor Would | Infinite Devotion Episode 146
This week we get into one of the most practical ways I lead in our relationship: taking ownership of our health optimization. It started with a routine idea to get full blood work done and turned into a discovery that Dawn's ferritin was at seven, that I have early markers for Hashimoto's, and that Dawn carries a genetic marker (lipoprotein A) that changes how her body handles certain fats. Along the way we talk about what it actually means for a man to lead, why individualized data beats throwing darts at a dartboard, and how being cared for this deeply lands for the one receiving it. A few things we cover: Why circulating iron and ferritin are not the same thing, and why it matters What a standard yearly checkup tends to miss Using your own body's data instead of internet rules about "good" and "bad" foods How health optimization becomes a place to lead, and to be led Eat the chip Function Health We are not affiliated with Function Health in any way (yet, but if anyone from Function sees this...call me!) I just love what it's done for us and want to share it. They have a referral program that gives anyone who signs up an extra $25 discount, and gives us a $25 credit in return. Click here to join Function with $25 off your first year If you sign up and learn something helpful about yourself, come tell us. We’d love to hear it. Links: Free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources All of our courses and offerings: https://infinitedevotion.com/store Becoming a Dominant Man: https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man Instagram: https://instagram.com/_infinitedevotion YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion Connect Instagram: @_infinitedevotion YouTube: @infinitedevotion • • More writing on the blog CHAPTERS & TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Welcome Back Lakeside 01:11 Leading Through Health 02:50 Ferritin Wake Up Call 07:37 Taking Charge of Care 10:35 Function Health Discovery 14:27 AI Powered Tracking 20:05 Biometrics Environment Data 26:09 Supplement Tweaks Results 27:50 Dawn Perspective Perfectionism 31:45 Cholesterol LpA Genetic Risk 34:18 Actionable Heart Risk Plan 35:14 CT Scan Peace of Mind 36:20 Lowering LDL Ammo 37:29 Rethinking Cooking Fats 38:56 Fear to Self Trust 44:12 Love Leadership Polarity 47:20 Body Signals and Salt 49:03 Different Bodies Same Meals 52:57 Grounding the Fear 56:31 Why He Leads Health 01:00:52 Advocacy and Wrap Up
- Aug 17, 20261h 15m
The Newest Version of You Is the Most Authentic One | Infinite Devotion Episode 145
The first version of us you ever saw was the least authentic version of us you'll ever see. Same goes for you, if you’re doing the work and going inward in your life. Every new thing that surfaces as you shed conditioning is truer than what came before it, which means the person your partner is becoming is more real than the one they used to be. Dawn joined me for this one, and we recorded outside by a lake in northern Wisconsin. Bugs, birds, wind, squeaky lawn chairs, all of it. Slowest, easiest conversation we've had on here in a long time. What we get into: Where we've been since April (Grand Canyon, Page, southern Utah, Moab, Yellowstone, the Black Hills) and why moving weekly burned me out Why I've been pivoting away from the dominant/submissive framing, and why none of the teaching actually changes The version of you that lives in everyone else's mind, and what happens when you stop matching it What it means when someone else's life makes you think "how dare they" Permission versus acceptance, and why permission can't be used as a tool to pry something out of your partner Why intimacy and sex are not the same word One year of adult content: what surprised us, what Dawn found in it, and what I'm still working out for myself We'll probably do more of these outside. If this one lands for you, take five seconds and leave a five star review on Apple or Spotify, or drop a comment on YouTube. It's the only thing I ask in return for everything we give away, and it's what puts this in front of more people. Links: Free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources All of our courses and offerings: https://infinitedevotion.com/store Becoming a Dominant Man: https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man Instagram: https://instagram.com/_infinitedevotion YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion Connect Instagram: @_infinitedevotion YouTube: @infinitedevotion More writing on the blog CHAPTERS & TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Lakeside Podcast Setup 01:57 Why We’re Here Today 04:15 Beyond Dom Sub Labels 09:20 RV Pace and Burnout 11:44 Southwest Route Highlights 16:50 Boondocking and Remote Living 18:25 Page Arizona and Lake Powell 21:25 Antelope Canyon Must See 22:39 Moab Parks and Mountain Detour 24:50 Yellowstone Awe and Wildlife 28:56 Dakotas Stops and Badlands Take 32:56 Wisconsin Reset and Fan Meetup 34:53 RV Parking Requests 35:19 Avoiding Big Cities 36:14 Adult Content Backlash 38:58 Authenticity Evolution 48:52 Acceptance in Relationships 52:44 Permission vs Safety 57:37 Porn First Then Depth 01:00:54 First Year Reflections 01:07:48 Romance Books Mirror 01:12:55 Lakeside Wrap Up 01:14:20 Rate and Review Join the Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
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About Infinite Devotion
Most long-term relationships end up in the same place. Two good people who love each other, living like roommates, wondering where the fire went and whether it's ever coming back. Andrew and Dawn refused to accept that this was just what love becomes. Infinite Devotion is the podcast for people who want both. Deep intimacy and intense desire, with the same person, for a lifetime, in a way that gets better instead of fading. Not as a fantasy, but as something that is actually possible, and actually lived. Andrew draws from more than fifteen years of marriage to Dawn, years that started out intense and spicy, went all the way down into a dead bedroom and codependent silence, and all the way back to something even better. This is everything they walked through together to come out the other side into something neither of them knew was available. The lessons learned in that process have nothing to do with techniques or strategies. They have everything to do with who you actually are underneath all of the performing, what masculine and feminine energy actually are and why they matter, and what becomes possible when two people stop hiding and start showing up as themselves. Dawn joins the conversation when she has something to say. Between the two of them, you get both sides of what this actually looks like from the inside of a conscious, fully alive marriage. Each episode goes deep into the real causes of why love loses its heat, what it takes to bring it back, and what a relationship built on genuine polarity, embodiment, and devotion can become over a lifetime. This is not relationship advice. This is what happens when two people refuse to settle.
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