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Pardon the Mess with Scarlet Hiltibidal - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Courtney DeFeo and Christian Parenting
As parents, we know raising kids is the opposite of neat and tidy. Pardon the Mess is a podcast for Christian moms who love Jesus, love their kids, and still feel behind on most days. Each week, host Scarlet takes one real parenting mess (morning meltdowns, discipline guilt, raising kind kids in a world that doesn't feel kind) and untangles it with honesty and grace, one small, faithful step at a time. No five-step systems. No longer to-do lists. Just clarity about what matters most and permission to let the rest go.
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- 6 days ago34 min
Homeschool, Public, or Private...How Do I Choose?
How do you know you're making the right decision for your kids?Whether you're homeschooling, choosing private school, considering public school, or simply wondering if you're getting this whole parenting thing right, the pressure can feel overwhelming. In this episode, Scarlet Hiltibidal reminds us that while parenting comes with countless decisions, our greatest calling isn't to engineer the perfect childhood—it's to faithfully point our children to Jesus.Through biblical encouragement and practical wisdom, Scarlet shares how Scripture shapes our approach to discipleship at home, why prayer and wise counsel matter, and how resting in God's sovereignty frees us from the burden of believing everything depends on us.In this episode, you'll hear:What the Bible says about discipling our children in everyday life.Why God's Word should be woven into the rhythms of your home.How to seek wisdom through prayer, Scripture, and godly counsel when making educational decisions.The freedom that comes from remembering you are called to point your children to Jesus—not save them.How trusting God's sovereignty brings peace in every parenting season.Key ScripturesProverbs 3:5–6Deuteronomy 6Key TakeawaysGod's Word is meant to shape the everyday rhythms of family life.Parenting is about faithful discipleship, not perfect outcomes.Every family and every season is unique—seek God's wisdom rather than someone else's formula.Prayer and biblical wisdom should guide every major parenting decision.God is already at work in your child's life, and you can trust Him with what you cannot control.Special thanks to Ever, Scarlet’s 15-year-old, who shared her own experience with this for this week's Messy Mom Moment!If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a positive review, and share it with a friend who may need hope today.Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!Resources:The Adventure BibleCozy Earth (use code PARDONTHEMESS for up to 20% off! And if you get a Post-Purchase Survey, make sure to let them know you heard about Cozy Earth right here!)Bridging ResilienceGet your copy of Faith in Action: Prayers from James for the Next Generation today!Get to know Scarlet hereSign up for Morning MinuteSeeds Kids Worship Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The MessScarlet’s InstagramScarlet’s FacebookPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
- 1 weeks ago31 min
Summer is Long…What Do I Do With My Kids?
Summer always seems to come with big expectations. We imagine memory-making adventures, endless family fun, and kids who magically never complain. But somewhere between snack requests, screen-time negotiations, and trying to keep everyone occupied, many of us end up wondering if we're doing enough.In this episode, Scarlet Hiltibidal shares why the best summer isn't necessarily the busiest one. Instead, she explores how the gospel frees us from the pressure to create a "perfect" summer and invites us to faithfully enjoy the ordinary moments God has already given us.You'll also hear from special guest Anna Van Dyke, who shares simple, practical rhythms that have helped her family cultivate faith, connection, and joy throughout the summer.Whether you're staying home, traveling, or just trying to survive another hot afternoon with your kids, this episode will encourage you to embrace intentionality over perfection and remember that God is already at work in the everyday moments.In This EpisodeWhy summer can leave moms feeling overwhelmedHow the gospel frees us from the pressure to create a "perfect" childhoodSimple spiritual rhythms your family can build into everyday lifePractical ideas for creating meaningful summer memories without overschedulingFinding joy in the ordinary instead of chasing extraordinary momentsScripture FocusColossians 3:17Luke 10:38-42Special thanks to Anna Van Dyke who shared her own experience with this for this week's Messy Mom Moment!If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a positive review, and share it with a friend who may need hope today.Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!Resources:The Adventure BibleCozy Earth (use code PARDONTHEMESS for up to 20% off! And if you get a Post-Purchase Survey, make sure to let them know you heard about Cozy Earth right here!)Get your copy of Faith in Action: Prayers from James for the Next Generation today!Get to know Scarlet hereSign up for Morning MinuteConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The MessScarlet’s InstagramScarlet’s FacebookPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
- 2 weeks ago26 min
I Don't Know How to Help My Child Through Friendship Drama
Few things are harder than watching your child come home hurt by a friend. Whether they're feeling left out, navigating conflict, experiencing rejection, or struggling through friendship drama, many moms find themselves wondering: Should I step in? Should I stay out of it? How do I help without making it worse?In this episode of Pardon the Mess, Scarlet Hiltibidal shares personal stories, practical encouragement, and biblical wisdom for helping children navigate relational conflict in a way that reflects the heart of Jesus. Through the lens of Matthew 18, she'll explore how we can teach our kids to pursue reconciliation, extend forgiveness, and find their identity in Christ rather than in the approval of others.If you've ever felt helpless watching your child struggle socially, this conversation will encourage you to trust God with their relationships while helping them develop the skills and character they'll need for a lifetime of healthy friendships.In This Episode:Why friendship drama affects moms so deeplyThe difference between protecting your child and preparing themWhat Jesus teaches about conflict and reconciliation in Matthew 18How to help your child navigate hurt, rejection, and misunderstandingsTeaching kids to pursue peace instead of gossipHelping children separate their identity from their friendshipsPractical ways to walk alongside your child without taking overHow the gospel transforms the way we handle relational conflictScripture Referenced:Matthew 18:15Ephesians 4:31–32Special thanks to Vanessa Dolberry who shared her own experience with this for this week's Messy Mom Moment!If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a positive review, and share it with a friend who may need hope today.P.S. Scarlet also joined Steph on The Christian Parenting Podcast earlier this week for a great conversation on embracing the Gospel for real-life parenting messes! Listen here or watch hereResources:The Adventure BibleGet your copy of Faith in Action: Prayers from James for the Next Generation today!Get to know Scarlet hereSign up for Morning MinutePrefer video? This episode is on YouTube!Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The MessScarlet’s InstagramScarlet’s FacebookPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
- 3 weeks ago39 min
I Don’t Know How to Trust God’s Goodness After a Miscarriage
In this deeply personal episode, Scarlet Hiltibidal shares her own experiences with miscarriage and the difficult questions that often accompany loss. Through stories of grief, fear, and surrender, she reflects on the difference between questioning God's goodness and learning to trust His goodness even when circumstances don't make sense.Whether you're walking through pregnancy loss yourself or supporting a mom friend who is, this conversation offers biblical encouragement, honest hope, and practical ways to care for those who are grieving. Together, we'll explore what it looks like to cling to God in heartbreak and find comfort in His unchanging character when life feels uncertain.In this episode:Scarlet's personal experiences with miscarriageWrestling with faith in seasons of lossTrusting God's goodness when life doesn't feel goodBiblical encouragement for grieving momsPractical ways to support someone experiencing pregnancy lossFinding hope and healing in Christ amid unanswered questionsIf you've ever wondered how to hold both grief and faith at the same time, this episode is for you!Today's Scripture Focus:Psalm 34:18, Romans 8:32, Lamentations 3:22-23, John 11:35Special thanks to Scarlet’s little tiny infant baby sister (who is 32!) Aubrey Fuhrman, who shared her own experience with this for this week's Messy Mom Moment!If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a positive review, and share it with a friend who may need hope today.Resources:The Adventure BibleGet to know Scarlet hereSign up for Morning MinutePrefer video? This episode is on YouTube!Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The MessScarlet’s InstagramScarlet’s FacebookPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
- Jun 25, 202634 min
A Bad Diagnosis & LettIng Kids See Hard Things
How do you talk to your kids about cancer, suffering, terminal illness, or the possibility of losing someone they love?Whether it's a grandparent's diagnosis, a chronic illness, a devastating loss, or another painful reality, there comes a moment when we realize we cannot protect our children from every hard thing this side of heaven.In this episode of Pardon the Mess, Scarlet Hiltibidal shares from a deeply personal place as she reflects on her mother's battle with stage-four cancer and the challenges of helping her own children navigate grief, uncertainty, and difficult questions. How much do we tell our kids? Should they see us cry? How do we help them process suffering when we're still processing it ourselves?Together, we'll explore what Scripture teaches about suffering, why Christian hope is different from wishful thinking, and how parents can model faith in the middle of fear. Rather than shielding our children from every hardship, we have the opportunity to show them what it looks like to trust Jesus when life hurts.This conversation is ultimately about more than cancer. It's about helping our children discover that God's presence is real, His promises are trustworthy, and His love remains steadfast even when life feels fragile.Today's Scripture Focus:2 Corinthians 4:16–18"Therefore we do not give up. Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day..."Special thanks to Jennifer Sieber, who shared her own experience with this for this week's Messy Mom Moment!If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who may need hope today.Resources:Get to know Scarlet hereSign up for Morning MinuteHopeful-ish: Sadness, Weariness, Donkey Attacks, More Sadness, and Other Stuff You Need the Gospel ForPrefer video? This episode is on YouTube!Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The MessScarlet’s InstagramScarlet’s FacebookPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
- Jun 25, 202634 min
A Bad Diagnosis & Letting Kids See Hard Things
How do you talk to your kids about cancer, suffering, terminal illness, or the possibility of losing someone they love?Whether it's a grandparent's diagnosis, a chronic illness, a devastating loss, or another painful reality, there comes a moment when we realize we cannot protect our children from every hard thing this side of heaven.In this episode of Pardon the Mess, Scarlet Hiltibidal shares from a deeply personal place as she reflects on her mother's battle with stage-four cancer and the challenges of helping her own children navigate grief, uncertainty, and difficult questions. How much do we tell our kids? Should they see us cry? How do we help them process suffering when we're still processing it ourselves?Together, we'll explore what Scripture teaches about suffering, why Christian hope is different from wishful thinking, and how parents can model faith in the middle of fear. Rather than shielding our children from every hardship, we have the opportunity to show them what it looks like to trust Jesus when life hurts.This conversation is ultimately about more than cancer. It's about helping our children discover that God's presence is real, His promises are trustworthy, and His love remains steadfast even when life feels fragile.Today's Scripture Focus:2 Corinthians 4:16–18"Therefore we do not give up. Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day..."Special thanks to Jennifer Sieber, who shared her own experience with this for this week's Messy Mom Moment!If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who may need hope today.Resources:Get to know Scarlet hereSign up for Morning Minute Hopeful-ish: Sadness, Weariness, Donkey Attacks, More Sadness, and Other Stuff You Need the Gospel ForPrefer video? This episode is on YouTube!Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The MessScarlet’s InstagramScarlet’s FacebookPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
- Jun 18, 202631 min
I Don't Know How to Help My Kids Feel at Home When Home Keeps Changing
How do we help our children navigate change when their hearts are breaking over what they're leaving behind?In this week's episode of Pardon the Mess, Scarlet Hiltibidal shares from a lifetime of moving, from her childhood years spent relocating across the country to the many ministry moves she's made as a wife and mom. She explores the unique challenges of helping children process transitions, say goodbye to people and places they love, and learn to trust God in unfamiliar seasons.Drawing from personal stories of moving with young children, leaving beloved churches and communities, and helping her family build new lives in new places, Scarlet discusses the tension many parents feel: wanting their children to embrace what's ahead without minimizing the grief of what's being left behind.But this episode isn't ultimately about moving.It's about belonging.It's about helping our children understand that while homes, schools, churches, friendships, and circumstances may change, God never does.Through biblical examples like Abraham, Moses, Ruth, and the Israelites, Scarlet highlights a powerful theme woven throughout Scripture: God's people have always been travelers, strangers, and sojourners learning to trust Him in unfamiliar places. The Christian life has never been about finding perfect security in this world. It's about learning to anchor our hearts in the One who never changes.In this episode, Scarlet discusses:• How to help children grieve the people, places, and routines they love• Why grief is not evidence that a move or transition was a mistake• The tension of feeling both excitement and sadness during major life changes• Biblical examples of faithful people who followed God into the unknown• Why earthly homes, relationships, and comforts make poor ultimate foundations• How transitions reveal where we are placing our security and identity• Practical ways to help children build trust in God's faithfulness during uncertain seasons• How to cultivate gratitude for God's gifts without clinging too tightly to themToday's Scripture Focus: Hebrews 11:13–16A special thank you to Caroline Downen who shared her own moving to Japan and back experience during the Messy Mom Moment!If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who may need this reminder today.00:00 Embracing Transitions: A Personal Journey12:02 Navigating Grief and Change with Kids17:50 Finding Home in a Changing WorldResources:Get to know Scarlet hereSign up for Morning MinutePrefer video? This episode is on YouTube!Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The MessScarlet’s InstagramScarlet’s FacebookPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
- Jun 11, 202628 min
Loving Each of My Kids Well (When They All Need Something Different)
How do you love your children well when every one of them seems to need something completely different from you?In this week's episode of Pardon the Mess, Scarlet Hiltibidal explores one of the most common tensions in motherhood: the desire to make sure each child feels deeply loved, seen, and secure, even when their personalities, needs, struggles, and seasons of life look nothing alike.Drawing from her own experience parenting four very different children, including sharing the adoption story of her daughter Joy, Scarlet reflects on the unique challenges and unexpected gifts that come with loving children individually rather than identically. From navigating a wide age gap between siblings to understanding different temperaments, emotional needs, and life experiences, she discusses the pressure many moms feel to keep everything equal, and why equal isn't always the same as loving well.At the heart of this conversation is a beautiful gospel truth: God Himself does not interact with every one of His children in exactly the same way. Throughout Scripture, we see a God who knows people personally, pursues them individually, and meets them in the unique circumstances of their lives. He is not a generic Father offering generic love. He is a deeply personal God who sees, knows, and cares for each of His children completely.This episode is also a reminder that our children's deepest security will never come from having perfectly balanced parents or perfectly equal circumstances. Their security comes from knowing they are fully known and fully loved by God. While we will inevitably fall short, the good news of the gospel is that our children do not need perfect parents. They need parents who consistently point them to the only perfect Father.Today's Scripture Focus:Psalm 139A special thank you to Scarlet's 13-year-old daughter, Joy, for joining this week's Messy Mom Moment. If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who may need this reminder today.Resources:Get to know Scarlet hereSign up for Morning Minute Moms, Dads, and Grads Gift GuidePrefer video? This episode is on YouTube!Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The MessScarlet’s InstagramScarlet’s FacebookPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
About Pardon the Mess with Scarlet Hiltibidal - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids
As parents, we know raising kids is the opposite of neat and tidy. Pardon the Mess is a podcast for Christian moms who love Jesus, love their kids, and still feel behind on most days. Each week, host Scarlet takes one real parenting mess (morning meltdowns, discipline guilt, raising kind kids in a world that doesn't feel kind) and untangles it with honesty and grace, one small, faithful step at a time. No five-step systems. No longer to-do lists. Just clarity about what matters most and permission to let the rest go.
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