How To Let Go In The Bedroom: Dominance vs. Surrender

Want your partner to take charge in bed, but struggle to actually let go? Or curious about being dominant without feeling like you’re playing a character? In this episode of Sex For Couples, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Heather Shannon welcomes professional dominatrix and erotic leadership expert Kimi Inch to explore conscious kink, dominance and submission, and building sexual confidence through connection.Heather and Kimi unpack why trust, self-worth, and relationship patterns can get in the way of surrender—and how to explore BDSM with more curiosity and less pressure to perform. Through real examples from her work with couples, Kimi shares how to develop an authentic dominant style, communicate sexual fantasies and boundaries, and use a verbal rehearsal to discover what excites you both before trying it in the bedroom.Key takeaways:Why being in charge all day doesn’t automatically make surrender easy in bed.How trust, self-worth, and unresolved relationship dynamics can affect dominance and submission.What subspace and Dom space can feel like—and why both partners need to let go in different ways.How erotic leadership uses presence, responsiveness, and creativity to build connection.How to use a kink checklist to discuss desires, boundaries, and sexual compatibility.Why talking through a fantasy before acting it out can build anticipation and clarify what feels good.How short play sessions, check-ins, and permission to make mistakes can take the pressure off exploring kink.Connect with Heather:Take the free “Why You’re Stuck in a Sex Rut” quizVisit Heather’s website and explore intimacy coachingConnect with Kimi:Visit &More for Kimi’s coaching, classes, and eventsDownload the free Conscious Kink ChecklistThis podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp