The Jefferson Fisher Podcast

Never Say "Let Me Know If"

July 28, 2026·25 min
Episode Description from the Publisher

When someone you care about is grieving, the pressure to say the right thing can be paralyzing. You want to help, but you don't want to make it worse. In this episode, I break down exactly what to say—and what not to say—when someone is dealing with profound loss. We cover why "let me know if you need anything" actually creates more burden for the grieving person, how to eliminate open-ended questions that force them to manage your emotions, and why false positivity is the fastest way to push them away. I'll give you the exact words and actions that show up for people in their darkest moments without requiring them to ask for permission. Leave me a voicemail to be featured on the show! https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/ask-jefferson Join me on Supercast for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and AMAs: https://jefferson.supercast.com/ Order The Next Conversation Workbook: https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/workbook Thank you to our sponsors: Tiny Health: Go to https://tinyhealth.com/jefferson for $50 off your first at-home test kit. Cozy Earth: Go to https://cozyearth.com/Jefferson and use code JEFFERSON for up to 20% off. BetterHelp. Click https://betterhelp.com/jeffersonfisher for a discount on your first month of therapy. Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review! Order my new book, The Next Conversation, today! https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/book Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show! https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/topic Join my School of Communication. https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/membership Follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/jefferson_fisher Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@justaskjefferson?lang=en Follow me on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeffersonfisher/ 0:00 The Pressure of Saying the Right Thing 3:18 Why You Should Never Say Let Me Know If You Need Anything 6:30 How to Show Up Without Asking for Permission 8:55 Eliminate Open Ended Questions 11:02 Don't Make Them Manage Your Emotions 14:12 The Power of Short Consistent Messages 16:33 Why False Positivity Backfires 18:04 How to Lean Into Their Pain Instead Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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