S3| Session 17: Fear of the Goodness: Navigating Peace After Relationship Chaos

The feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop is universal. When your nervous system is deeply accustomed to chaos, peace can actually feel scary and alarming because it brings up fears of losing what feels so good.  As we near the end of our time with Rachel and Mike, they are finally finding real stability. Mike has been stepping up in wonderfully subtle ways, intentionally checking in during a "midweek lull" with a small hand gesture that gave Rachel an immense sense of safety and lightness. However, because they haven't had a major rupture in a while, Rachel is starting to panic. She admits that it is entirely foreign to her not to be sliding into a negative cycle, and she has no idea how to sit and enjoy the goodness. Today, we navigate that new quiet space. We also use their hard-earned stability to unpack one of the heaviest unspoken resentments in their marriage: the fact that Rachel left everything she knew to move into Mike's world, and how painfully alone she has felt in that sacrifice. Follow Julie Menanno on social media @thesecurerelationship. For weekly homework assignments visit our website: The Secure Relationship Podcast Sign up for Julie's Bi-Weekly Relationship Group: The Secure Love Club Purchase Julie's book Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime.