Ep.8- What's Underneath the Men vs. Women Suffering Contest?

What if men and women stopped arguing about who suffers more and started trying to understand each other instead?In this episode of This Triggers Me, Dr Audra Horney (a therapist for men) and Dr. Brendan K. Hartman (a sociologist who researches the emotional well being of boys) take on “suffering contests” and the growing divide in conversations around gender.Through a role reversal exercise, they each advocate for the other gender’s experience, exploring the pain, pressure, loneliness, fear and emotional labor that often go unseen. Instead of debating who has it worse, this conversation focuses on empathy, nuance and what both men and women wish the other truly understood about men’s mental health, relationships, and emotional wellbeing.Key takeaways:What “suffering contests” are and how they fuel polarization around genderThe difference between acknowledging pain and weaponizing “what about…” argumentsWhy many men crave emotional intimacy, affection, and closeness beyond sexThe impact of touch starvation, shame, and fear of being a burden on men’s mental healthHow boys and men are often negatively reinforced for emotional vulnerabilityWhy many men are trying to grow despite limited emotional socializationThe invisible emotional labor many women carry in relationships and daily lifeHow safety vigilance and threats to bodily autonomy shape women’s experiencesWhy “not all men” conversations often miss the emotional point being madeHow role reversal and empty chair exercises can build empathy and understandingWhy emotionally honest dialogue matters for healthier relationships, men’s wellbeing and connectionConnect with usEmail- thistriggersmepodcast@gmail.comSocial media- https://www.instagram.com/dr.audra.horney/https://www.instagram.com/re.masculine/https://www.instagram.com/thistriggersmepod/https://www.tiktok.com/@thistriggersmepodFind a Therapist for Men: www.draudra.comPodcast post-production: Stacy Blackburn