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40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk.: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Rick Clemons
Welcome to the only podcast exploring the messiness, awesomeness, of masculinity of being a gay man over 40. Each episode is about sparking idea, addressing challenges, and diving deep into what it looks like to be a vulnerable gay guy. We talk about the stuff us gay guys have a hard time talking about, man-to-man: masculinity, sex, careers, our bodies, parenting, sexuality, failures, success, and aging, relationships, coming out - nothing is off limits. 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk is the revamped version of 40 Plus: Real Men. Real Talk podcast and is a short format podcast that's easy to digest. We take deep dives - one topic at a time - digging up the truth of what it’s like to be a gay man, instead of some contrived expectation of masculinity. We’re reclaiming manhood and our masculinity by facing our fears, making bold moves, and living life without apologies. Join us, but you've got to drop your BS, forget posturing, and be ready to explore the comical dysfunctions of our lives as gay men 40+ years of age!
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- 6 days ago39 min
Future-Proof Your Gay Self: Dwight Allen O’Neal on Reinvention, Self-Love, and Knowing When To Evolve
Twenty years in the beauty industry teaches you a few things about reinvention. Dwight Allen O'Neal learned them the hard way and then wrote the book. Death of the Field Team is his unflinching look at what happens when industries change and the people in them refuse to. But this conversation goes deeper than career strategy. Dwight joins Rick to talk about what it actually means to "protect your human," love yourself without apology, and build something that is authentically yours when everything around you is shifting. He also shares the story behind his new business, Christelle on Pine, named for his parents. This one is personal and it earns it. Key Takeaways: What future-proofing yourself actually means and why most people wait too long to do itWhy authenticity is the only sustainable strategy in the age of AI and social mediaHow Dwight arrived at genuine self-love at 42 and what changed when he didThe meditation insight that reframed everything: you were sent here to protect yourselfWhy self-care is psychological protection, not selfishness - protect your humanThe story behind Christelle on Pine and what it means to build something in honor of where you came from About Dwight Dwight Allen O’Neal is a beauty industry leader, award-winning filmmaker, and brand strategist with more than 20 years of experience in retail education, field sales, and consumer growth. Throughout his career, he has helped both emerging and established beauty brands— including Josie Maran, Pattern Beauty, Bumble and bumble, Briogeo, and Octavia Morgan— drive sustainable growth through strategic retail partnerships, education, and consumer engagement. His expertise spans leading retailers including Sephora, Ulta Beauty, Amazon, Nordstrom, Macy's, Bluemercury, Sally Beauty, and JCPenney Beauty. As the Founder and CEO of Christell On Pine Group, Dwight advises founders and executive teams on building brands through education, authentic relationships, and people-first leadership. His latest book, “Death of The Field Team: The Beauty Industry’s Biggest Mistake,” is the newest addition to his collection of nonfiction titles. Exploring the evolving beauty industry's shift away from field education, it argues that the industry's greatest competitive advantage has always been knowledgeable people, in-store expertise, and meaningful customer connection. Connect With Dwight Website Instagram Facebook LinkedIn Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community
- 1 weeks ago47 min
Stop Being Fabulously Broke: David and John Auten-Schneider on Gay Men, Money, and Retirement
Gay men are great at living fabulously. Retiring fabulously is a different story. David and John Auten-Schneider went from $51,000 in credit card debt to financial independence and now spend their time helping other gay men figure out why their bank account does not match the life they want. They join Rick for episode 400 to talk about the scarcity mindsets, status spending, and financial blind spots that keep LGBTQ men working longer than they have to. If you are in your 50s or 60s and have not saved enough, this episode is not a lecture. It is a plan. Key Takeaways: How David and John went from $51,000 in debt to financial independence and what that actually requiredWhy gay men face unique financial pressures that straight financial advice does not account forThe scarcity mindset that keeps LGBTQ men from building real wealth even when they earn wellHow to determine your retirement runway and when you can realistically stop workingWhy paying off debt and building assets require the same discipline applied in a different directionThe Retirement Readiness Review and what it can tell you about where you actually stand About John & David David and John, are husbands living their fabulous life. They help other gay men like you who also want to live an amazing life without sacrificing your financial security. Their Queer Money™ podcast, provides tools and resources to help you live fabulously, not fabulously broke. The are also the creators of the Queer Money Retire Abroad Planner & Calculator Connect With John & David Website Instagram Facebook Queer Money Retire Abroad Planner & Calculator Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community
- 2 weeks ago38 min
John Ball: The Closet Gets A Better Outfit
John Ball came out years ago. That was not the hard part. The hard part was the second closet he built after, the professional one, where he learned to shrink, soften, and stay palatable so nobody in the room got uncomfortable. Ball breaks down how stand-up comedy taught him that boundaries do not make people leave, they make the right people stay, and how a room-sharing standoff with his family in Spain became the moment he stopped editing himself. This kicks off Gay in the Gayborhood, a new interview series pulling back the curtain on the men behind the mic. This one is for the man still performing comfortable. Key Takeaways Coming out does not end the shrinking, it just moves it into new roomsBoundaries do not make people leave, they make the right people stayStand-up comedy taught John Ball more about authenticity than any stage training ever didMaking other people comfortable at your own expense is a pattern, not a personality traitThis episode launches Gay in the Gayborhood, a new interview series featuring the men behind the micThe moment John stopped hiding was not on a stage, it was a conversation with his family in Spain About John John is a Keynote & Presentation coach who turns competent speakers into captivating ones. He works with professional speakers, coaches, and leadership teams who are done blending in. He hosts the Professional Speaking podcast for speakers who want to be known, booked, and paid what they're worth, and co-hosts The Coaching Clinic with his good friend Angie. His LinkedIn newsletter, Serious About Speaking, is exactly as punchy as it sounds. John spent over 15 years as lead online coach and trainer for T. Harv Eker, and years on the coaching team at The Speaker Lab helping professional speakers get booked and paid. Before any of that, he was a flight attendant with British Airways, a bar manager, and a door-to-door salesman. He's got stories. He says the NSFW ones aren't for the show. Don't believe him. He's also a working stand-up comic, an open mic addict, and runs workshops for new comedians. Underneath the cheekiness is someone who takes communication, integrity, and leadership seriously. Practicing Stoic, meditator, still doesn't take life too seriously. Connect With John Website Instagram Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community
- 3 weeks ago18 min
25 Years In: What Love Actually Looks Like for a Gay Man Over 40 – Rick Clemons
Twenty-five years ago, during the week the world changed, I met my husband. This episode is not a highlight reel. It is an honest look at what it actually takes to build a life with someone, the silence that saves you, the space you have to learn to give, the difference between reacting and responding, and why love is not something that happens to you but something you keep choosing. For gay men over 40 who wonder if lasting love is still possible, or who are already in it and need a reminder of why it is worth the work, this one is for you. Key Takeaways: Why silence is one of the most powerful tools in a long-term relationshipThe difference between reacting and responding and why it changes everythingHow giving space is an act of love not a withdrawalWhy not everything needs to be resolved immediately and how to know the differenceWhat a Buddhist practice taught Rick about embracing change instead of fighting itWhy operating from love makes you better at every role you play About Rick Rick Clemons has been getting people out of their own way since 2006. For gay men over 40, that means getting specific, getting direct, and getting a little uncomfortable. You're welcome. He came out at 36, walked away from a corporate career that looked great on the outside and felt like slow death on the inside, and learned the hard way that the detours aren't the problem. Treating them like one is. That whole messy, inconvenient realization became his life's work. He doesn't motivate. He doesn't therapize. He confronts. He works with gay men who are done stalling, done negotiating, and done living lives that technically work but don't actually fit. Rick is the host of 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk, where the quiet parts get said out loud, and the author of Frankly My Dear, I'm Gay. His next book, The Reckoning: A Gay Man's Wake Up Call to His Own Bullshit, is coming soon. He coaches. He speaks. He tells the truth in rooms where most people are still being polite about it. When he's not doing that, he's drinking good wine, annoying his husband, and pretending his two grown daughters still need his advice. No fears. No excuses. No apologies. That's not a tagline. It's how he lives. Connect With Rick Website Instagram Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community
- 3 weeks ago52 min
Tyler Wasson: Loneliness Is Lying To You
Tyler Wasson spent years running from every uncomfortable silence, awkward date, and rejection, convinced escape was the only way to survive them. Then he found Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and learned the opposite: sitting still inside discomfort is what actually builds connection. Wasson explains why loneliness is not proof something is broken in you, it is a misperception you have been trained to believe. He breaks down his N.A.T.U.R.E. Formula, a nature-based approach that reframes isolation as something you can retrain, not a life sentence. This conversation is for the man who keeps swiping, keeps busy, keeps avoiding the quiet, and still feels alone. Key Takeaways Loneliness is a misperception you have been trained to believe, not proof you are brokenRunning from discomfort, bad dates, awkward silences, rejection, keeps you further from connection, not closerSitting still inside discomfort instead of escaping it is where real connection startsThe N.A.T.U.R.E. Formula reframes isolation as something you can retrainConnection does not require performance, it requires presenceNature and mindfulness are tools for noticing the connection you already have access to About Tyler Tyler Wasson, PsyD, is a psychologist, mindfulness teacher, and author of "Queering Connection: A Nature-Based Journey That Transforms Loneliness into Unshakeable Belonging." His work focuses on helping queer men move from chronic loneliness and disconnection into a lived sense of belonging through mindfulness, direct experience, and a nature-based understanding of connection. He is the creator of The N.A.T.U.R.E. Formula™, a framework that reframes loneliness not as a personal deficit, but as a misperception of disconnection. Connect With Tyler Website Get The Book Podcast Instagram Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community
- Sep 4, 202655 min
Stop Reacting, Start Listening: Joshua Johnson on What Gay Men Get Wrong About Difficult Conversations
Most gay men do not have a conflict problem. They have a conversation problem. Joshua Johnson spent 25 years in journalism learning why people cannot talk to each other, then turned it into a TED Talk. The former NPR and MSNBC anchor joins Rick to break down what actually happens inside a difficult conversation, why your internal monologue is running the show before you say a word, and why the queer community has a specific and largely unspoken problem with mentorship and validation. This is not a civility lecture. It is a framework for stopping the patterns that keep gay men stuck in the same arguments with the same people. Key Takeaways: Why the problem in conflict is not the inability to talk but the inability to argue constructivelyHow your internal monologue shapes every difficult conversation before it startsThe journalist's trick for getting the story behind someone's position before engagingWhy responding instead of reacting changes the outcome of almost every conflictThe "common enemy intimacy" pattern that holds gay men back from real communityWhy queer men struggle to receive mentorship and positive validation and what to do about it About Joshua Joshua Johnson has spent more than 25 years in journalism, helping people see each other despite their differences. His latest project, The Resolution, is an online game where players debate everyday issues to build their persuasion skills. Previously Johnson was the anchor of “NOW Tonight”, the first 8pm program on the streaming channel NBC News NOW. Before that he anchored “The Week with Joshua Johnson” on MSNBC, providing rare spaces for audience interaction in network news. His projects for NBC included anchored specials for Black History Month, a live MSNBC broadcast from outside New York’s Stonewall Inn for LGBTQ Pride Month, and a focus group of small business owners reacting to President Biden’s 2022 State of the Union Address. MSNBC recruited Johnson away from the NPR daily talk show “1A”, which he hosted for its first three years on-air. During that time “1A” built a weekly audience of four million listeners nationwide. Johnson has also been an anchor and reporter at San Francisco’s KQED, and at WLRN in its unique partnership with The Miami Herald. His most recent accomplishment was his TED 2026 talk. Johnson holds bachelor’s degrees in Broadcasting and Theater Arts from the University of Miami. He lives in Chicago. Connect With Joshua Website TED Talk 2026 Facebook Instagram LinkedIn Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community
- Aug 28, 202641 min
David Lauterstein: Why Fun is Not The Same As Happy
David Lauterstein co-founded Nasty Pig, one of the most unapologetically sex-positive brands in queer history. Everyone expected his first book to be about that. Instead he wrote Sodomy Gods, a love story about meeting his husband Fred in the 1990s, because 33 years into the marriage he learned something nobody markets to gay men: fun and happiness are not the same thing. Lauterstein talks about what three decades of work, sacrifice, and adaptation actually looks like, what the AIDS crisis taught him about resilience and community, and why chasing fun instead of happiness is how good men end up alone. This one is for the man still confusing a good Saturday night with a good life. Key Takeaways Fun and happiness are not the same thing, and most men spend years chasing the wrong oneDavid Lauterstein co-founded one of the most sex-positive brands in queer history, then wrote a love story instead of a founder storyThirty-three years of marriage taught him that great relationships require work, sacrifice, and constant adaptationLessons from the AIDS crisis still shape how he thinks about community and resilience todayRecording the audiobook in his own voice let him say things print never couldOlder gay men find real purpose through charitable work and community, not just through fun About David David Lauterstein is among the most influential forces in queer culture, celebrated as an unapologetic champion for sex-positivity since co-founding the iconic Nasty Pig fashion brand in 1994. As its CEO, he has been honored for his trailblazing entrepreneurship, his philanthropic efforts supporting homeless queer youth, and by the White House for his decades of public health advocacy. A formally trained poet and house music producer, Lauterstein resides in New York City with his husband and Nasty Pig co-founder, Frederick Kearney. Sodomy Gods is his first book. Connect With David Website Instagram Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community
- Aug 21, 202641 min
Frank Spinelli on Shame, Trauma, and Why Gay Men Over 40 Are Reading the Wrong Map
Gay men over 40 have been running from shame their entire lives. Frank Spinelli says that is exactly the wrong move. As a physician, survivor, and author of The Shame Compass, Frank has spent decades watching gay men mistake shame for the enemy when it is actually a diagnostic tool pointing toward healing. The AIDS crisis, childhood trauma, the invisibility of aging, the pressure to perform — all of it leaves a mark. This episode is about what to do with that mark instead of burying it. Frank joins Rick to break down his C.O.M.P.A.S.S. framework and why gay men are done running. Key Takeaways: Why shame was installed in gay men before they even had words for who they wereHow the AIDS crisis created layers of survivor and caretaker shame that never got addressedWhy aging gay men face a second wave of shame around invisibility and relevanceWhat the C.O.M.P.A.S.S. framework actually does and how to use itWhy pausing is the hardest and most important skill gay men can buildHow to stop treating shame as the enemy and start using it as a compass About Frank Frank Spinelli, MD is a physician, certified health coach, and one of 95,000 survivors who filed claims in the Boy Scouts of America bankruptcy case. With over twenty years of clinical experience in internal medicine, he brings unique authority to trauma-informed recovery: medical expertise, lived experience of childhood sexual abuse and pandemic relapse, and active coaching practice implementing the C.O.M.P.A.S.S. framework with clients. Today, he works with hundreds of clients through the Reframe platform, helping individuals apply trauma-informed tools to navigate shame, addiction, and behavioral change. He is the author of The Shame Compass: A Radical Framework for Trauma Healing and Self-Acceptance, as well as PEE-SHY: A Memoir and The Advocate Guide to Gay Men’s Health and Wellness. A former TV host and longtime health writer, Dr. Spinelli brings both clinical authority and media experience to conversations about recovery, resilience, and living with authenticity. Connect With Frank Website Instagram Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community
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About 40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk.
Welcome to the only podcast exploring the messiness, awesomeness, of masculinity of being a gay man over 40. Each episode is about sparking idea, addressing challenges, and diving deep into what it looks like to be a vulnerable gay guy. We talk about the stuff us gay guys have a hard time talking about, man-to-man: masculinity, sex, careers, our bodies, parenting, sexuality, failures, success, and aging, relationships, coming out - nothing is off limits. 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk is the revamped version of 40 Plus: Real Men. Real Talk podcast and is a short format podcast that's easy to digest. We take deep dives - one topic at a time - digging up the truth of what it’s like to be a gay man, instead of some contrived expectation of masculinity. We’re reclaiming manhood and our masculinity by facing our fears, making bold moves, and living life without apologies. Join us, but you've got to drop your BS, forget posturing, and be ready to explore the comical dysfunctions of our lives as gay men 40+ years of age!
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