
Hundreds of Ku Klux Klan members have handed their robes to Daryl Davis, a Black jazz musician who won them over by listening instead of arguing. His opening question: How can you hate me if you don't even know me? Howie Chan sits down with Joshua Bandoch, former academic, speechwriter, and author of How to Get What You Want, to unpack why that approach works and why most persuasion fails before it starts. Josh defines persuasion as shared action, not winning, and makes the case that leading with logic is itself illogical, because every human being is wired to feel first and reason second. You'll learn the four questions that get people to yes without a pitch, why asking how someone feels opens doors that asking what they think keeps shut, how moral foundations theory helps you persuade people who don't share your values, and why the most persuasive leaders of the last century were all for something rather than against someone. Chapters: 00:00:00 The Daryl Davis KKK Story 00:05:20 Biggest Persuasion Misconception 00:08:04 Persuasion as Shared Action 00:12:24 Why We're Wired to Talk About Ourselves 00:15:46 Questions That Reveal What People Want 00:17:43 Leading with Emotion Versus Logic 00:24:57 How to Read an Audience You Can't Talk To 00:27:07 Appealing to Values Without Pandering 00:36:26 Be For Something 00:42:18 The 4 Questions That Get People to Yes 00:50:18 Why Experts Struggle to Lead With Feelings 00:58:05 Stories That Move People to Act 01:00:56 Crashing Through Glass Ceilings From Joshua Bandoch: Website (https://joshuabandoch.com/) LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/joshua-bandoch-02211b167) Book (https://joshuabandoch.com/book/) Mentioned in this episode: Mark Victor Hansen’s episode: How to Ask for What You Want: The Skill Mark V Hansen Used to Sell 500M Books (after 144 rejections) (https://www.howiechan.com/podcast) (Aug 18) Your Expertise Deserves to Be Known The Behavioring Lab is a new community for experienced professionals who want to build a professional brand that gets them known, trusted, and chosen by the right people. → http://behavioringlab.com/ Join the founding member waitlist. — Produced by https://ideablossoms.com
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