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On Attachment: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Stephanie Rigg
Join relationship coach Stephanie Rigg in On Attachment, where she delves deep into all things attachment theory, love, relationships & intimacy - sharing her wisdom and experience to help you start making real changes in your life & relationships.
Latest Episodes
The most recent episodes — sign up to get AI-powered summaries of each one.
- 6 days ago36 min
#283: From Self-Abandonment to Self-Worth (Plus TWO Exciting Announcements!)
Pre-order my book, The Secure SelfIn today's episode, we're talking about self-abandonment and what it really takes to shift away from these well-worn patterns into a more secure version of ourselves that is grounded in self-worth. We discuss why self-abandonment feels so natural to many of us with anxious attachment patterns, the importance of self-compassion, building nervous system capacity, advocating for our needs from a steady place, and building self-trust.My book, The Secure Self, is now available for pre-order! Head to stephanierigg.com/book to claim your exclusive bonus package for free as a pre-order gift with purchase.
- 2 weeks ago10 min
#282: How to Forgive Yourself for Pushing Someone Away (Ask Steph)
In today's Ask Steph episode, I'm giving advice to a listener who is feeling a lot of shame and self-blame for their role in the breakdown of a relationship, which they've come to recognise after working on themselves post-break-up. I share some thoughts on why shame and blame can be so tempting, but also how it blocks us from truly learning the lessons of our break-up and changing our patterns going forward. I also offer some honest advice on whether it's a good idea to reach out to your ex to share what you've learned about yourself since the break-up.
- 2 weeks ago21 min
#281: When You Want to Work on the Relationship But Your Partner Doesn't
So many people will know the frustration of wanting to work on your relationship and being met with resistance, shutdown, or disengagement from a partner. When your sincere attempts at getting through and finding a path forward aren't landing, it's easy to feel hopeless—and confused as to what it means for your future. In today's episode, I'm sharing some thoughts on this predicament, as well as tips for breaking through the impasse and how you can find your way back to centre irrespective of whether your partner comes to the table.LinksFree resources for anxious attachmentFree masterclass on breaking the anxious-avoidant cycle
- 4 weeks ago15 min
#280: Why You Feel Jealous About Your Partner's Past (& How to Navigate It)
In today's episode, we're talking about retroactive jealousy — being an excessive preoccupation with a partner's romantic and/or sexual history, and feelings of intense insecurity and comparison as a result. This is a really common experience (one I used to struggle with myself!), particularly among those with anxious attachment patterns who already experience a hypervigilance to perceived relational threats coupled with low self-esteem and a fear of abandonment. We'll talk about how retroactive jealousy is often a branch off the "unworthiness" tree, and why starting there — with tending to our low self-worth — is often the fix. LinksFree resources for healing anxious attachmentFollow me on InstagramSubscribe to my YouTube channel
- Sep 1, 202613 min
#279: When an Old Love Resurfaces and Starts Pulling Away (Ask Steph)
This week's Ask Steph question comes from a 77 year old listener who recently reconnected with a man she loved 45 years ago, following the passing of her husband of 40 years. He was the one who got away, and their reunion felt like everything she'd hoped for... until he suddenly started pulling back without explanation.In offering my advice, I share some thoughts on why a first relationship after a long marriage can feel so consuming, why avoidant patterns often show up most acutely when someone is going through something difficult, and why the instinct to chase and accommodate someone who's withdrawing usually costs us more than it helps. We talk about the difference between having compassion for someone's fear and abandoning your own needs to manage it, and why getting clear on what you actually want (before you have the conversation with them) matters so much.If you've ever found yourself dropping your own needs to keep someone from leaving, this one's for you.Have a question you'd like to submit for a future Ask Steph episode? Click here to leave a voice note. LinksFree resources for healing anxious attachmentVisit my websiteFollow me on Substack
- Aug 18, 202610 min
#278: How to Navigate Being Triggered by a Partner's Moodiness
In today's Ask Steph episode, I'm answering the listener question of "How do I navigate being triggered by my partner's moodiness and irritability?" This is such a common pain point for folks with anxious attachment patterns. I share some context as to why moodiness is so activating for the anxious nervous system, as well as my advice on how to best respond in the moment when your partner is being moody. LinksFree training for healing anxious attachmentTake my attachment quizSubscribe to my YouTube channelFollow me on Instagram
- Aug 13, 202613 min
#277: What to Look For in a Long-Term Partner
Choosing who you're going to commit to is a life-altering decision — so it's little wonder so many of us feel the weight of that pressure, and experience doubt around whether we're making the "right" decision. And while no one but you can ultimately make that call, in today's episode I'm sharing some guidance on the qualities and attributes that I find essential to making long-term relationships work. LinksFree resourcesVisit my websiteFollow me on Instagram
- Aug 4, 202622 min
#276: Attachment & Conflict (Part 4): Repairing After Relationship Rupture
Learning to repair after conflict or ruptures is one of the most valuable relationship skills you'll ever have. But for many of us, meaningful repair isn't something we ever really learned or had modelled. In this episode, we talk about three key components of repair, and how they can help us to transform conflict into deeper understanding, connection, and intimacy. LinksFree training on healing anxious attachmentAttachment styles quizFollow me on Instagram
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About On Attachment
Join relationship coach Stephanie Rigg in On Attachment, where she delves deep into all things attachment theory, love, relationships & intimacy - sharing her wisdom and experience to help you start making real changes in your life & relationships.
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