437 | Ultimate Limits Are Still a Choice - Getting the Final Step Right

In this episode, I continue last week's conversation about ultimate limits by focusing on a piece I think we often miss: an ultimate limit is still a choice. Landreth tells us to move through the limit-setting process at least three times before considering an ultimate limit—but "three" is not a rigid rule. Sometimes a child may need five, seven, or even more opportunities to wrestle with the choice. Our job is not to rush the process or force compliance. We provide the boundary, remain patient, and give the child the time and space to choose what happens next. I also explain why an ultimate limit should never feel like punishment, discipline, or the therapist finally saying, "That's enough." If a child chooses to lose access to the Nerf gun, sand tray, or another item, we calmly acknowledge that choice, remove the item, and return to the session with the same warmth and unconditional acceptance we had before. Our words, tone, facial expression, and body language all matter because we aren't taking something away—the child is experiencing the outcome of their own choice. Limit testing isn't something to resent; it's meaningful therapeutic work through which children develop self-control, regulation, responsibility, and an understanding of consequences. PlayTherapyNow.com is my HUB for everything I do! playtherapynow.com. Sign up for my email newsletter, stay ahead with the latest CCPT CEU courses, personalized coaching opportunities and other opportunities you need to thrive in your CCPT practice. If you click one link in these show notes, this is the one to click! New Live Training Events Announced: New Jersey & Tampa dates are locked in and registration is open for New Jersey. Go to iamccpt.live for more information. New Resource for Play Therapists: The Parent Companion for Play Therapy is now available at author pricing for therapists. Created specifically to help parents better understand the child-centered play therapy process, this book is designed to support parent engagement, improve buy-in, and reduce attrition throughout the therapeutic journey. As a listener of the Play Therapy Podcast, you can order a copy for just $8 (our cost plus shipping). Click here to order your author-priced copy. ** Limit 1 per therapist, offer valid in the Continental U.S. only. Order copies for your practice and save with discounted bulk pricing. Bulk ordering makes it easy to place Parent Companion for Play Therapy directly into the hands of the parents you serve. If you would like to ask me questions directly, check out www.ccptcollective.com, where I host two weekly Zoom calls filled with advanced CCPT case studies and session reviews, as well as member Q&A. You can take advantage of the two-week free trial to see if the CCPT Collective is right for you. Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Brenna's CCPT Hub: https://www.playtherapynow.com CCPT Collective (online community exclusively for CCPTs): https://www.ccptcollective.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapypodcast.com APT Approved Play Therapy CE courses: https://childcenteredtraining.com Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781315537948 Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.