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LOVERS by Shan: Daily Summaries Delivered
by LOVERS by shan
LOVERS by Shan is an education-first space where listeners come to better understand their own intimate lives through the life lessons and expertise of others. Shan Boodram’s mission is to empower everyone to be their own intimacy expert in the bedroom and beyond by treating guests of the podcast as educators in their own right. Past guests include Kelly Rowland who taught us about being a sensualist. Becky G who shared the importance of healthy love in an unhealthy body. Kerry Washington who warned about the dangers of keeping secrets. Kamie Crawford who taught us about the joys of breaking up. Jesse Reyez who reminded us that it's alright to admit you're the one who let a good one get away.
Latest Episodes
The most recent episodes — sign up to get AI-powered summaries of each one.
- Yesterday36 min
You Abandoned Me, Stop Calling it a Breakup ft. Shaun Ross
Shaun Ross was the first professional male model with albinism, and in this conversation he tells Shan about the breakup he refuses to call a breakup, because he was never in the room for it. Two hours into an 11-hour flight home from Europe, he watched his partner leave on the home camera, and he later learned that plenty of people had known how his partner felt (everyone except him). Shan explains why the person who leaves has often finished grieving long before the other person finds out. Follow Shaun Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/shaunross/ TikTok → https://www.tiktok.com/@shaunross YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChwiHoKUsczyGJYmUOAV8Hw Want more Lover? Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
- 6 days ago42 min
So We're Just Gonna Pretend Like... | Responding to Your Comments Live Via G
I'm answering your comments on Via G's episode. Via G is a New Orleans creator (yes, the baby bangs) who spent her twenties moving from one 18-month relationship to the next, and the last one looked perfect on paper: he cooked, he could match her financially, and he carried the fatherly energy of a man who already knew how everything should be done. Her body figured it out before she did. Her cycle unraveled over the year they were together, and not long after she ended it (20 minutes and six seconds, start to finish) her hormone test came back with perfect scores. Via walks Shan through the slow disappearing act in between (the gray sweatpants, the running commentary on how she cut onions, a moment of coercion she didn't have language for until a friend named it), and then the year of saying yes to herself that followed: cutting her own bangs on camera, walking into pool parties alone to make girlfriends, and buying the Bronco she'd been talked out of. Shan offers a frame for why "daddy knows best" can feel like love when you grew up without one. This one is for anyone who has shrunk to fit someone and is ready to be loud again. Follow Via G Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mylifeasvia/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@_mylifeasvia_ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MyLifeAsVia X: https://x.com/mylifeasvia All links: https://link.me/mylifeasvia Want more LOVERS? Follow Shan on Instagram → http://instagram.com/shanboodram Get free Lovers Letters from Shan → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
- 1 weeks ago55 min
He Felt Like the Dad I Never Had. That Was the Problem ft. Via G
Via G is a New Orleans creator (yes, the baby bangs) who spent her twenties moving from one 18-month relationship to the next, and the last one looked perfect on paper: he cooked, he could match her financially, and he carried the fatherly energy of a man who already knew how everything should be done. Her body figured it out before she did. Her cycle unraveled over the year they were together, and not long after she ended it (20 minutes and six seconds, start to finish) her hormone test came back with perfect scores. Via walks Shan through the slow disappearing act in between (the gray sweatpants, the running commentary on how she cut onions, a moment of coercion she didn't have language for until a friend named it), and then the year of saying yes to herself that followed: cutting her own bangs on camera, walking into pool parties alone to make girlfriends, and buying the Bronco she'd been talked out of. Shan offers a frame for why "daddy knows best" can feel like love when you grew up without one. This one is for anyone who has shrunk to fit someone and is ready to be loud again. _______ Showing some love to the sponsor of this episode Hollyood Ending. It is the book everyone will be talking about this fall. Buy Hollywood, Ending now wherever books are sold. Big shoutout to the sponsor of this episode Beducated. Unlock deeper pleasure with a roadmap designed for you — all it takes is 5 minutes. Go to https://beduc.at/bg2640-boody to learn more! Ready to reach your goals? Visit forhers.com/shan to get personalized, affordable care that gets you. Follow Via G Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mylifeasvia/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@_mylifeasvia_ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MyLifeAsVia X: https://x.com/mylifeasvia All links: https://link.me/mylifeasvia Want more LOVERS? Follow Shan on Instagram → http://instagram.com/shanboodram Get free Lovers Letters from Shan → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
- 1 weeks ago1h 6m
If It Don't Apply, Let It Fly | Responding to Your Comments Live: Kendrick Sampson
I'm answering your comments on Kendrick Sampson choosing freedom over romance, and you did not agree. When Kendrick Sampson (the actor you know from Insecure and How to Get Away with Murder, and the activist behind BLD PWR) sat down with me and said he cares about freedom more than romance, I had a feeling some of you would feel seen and some of you would feel personally called out, and the comments landed right down the middle. [One side heard someone finally say out loud that romantic love is only one kind of love worth building a life around, while the other side heard something that felt like permission to never fully choose anyone. CONFIRM against actual comments.] In this first episode of If It Don't Apply, Let It Fly, I'm reading the comments that split you and responding to them honestly, [including the ones that shifted how I think about the conversation and the ones I'm holding my ground on. CONFIRM against what Shan actually says]. If you walked away from Kendrick's episode feeling defensive, inspired, or stuck somewhere uncomfortable in between, this is for you, because the disagreement is where the real conversation was happening. Follow Kendrick Sampson Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kendrick38 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kendrick BLD PWR: https://bldpwr.com Want more LOVERS? Follow Shan on Instagram → http://instagram.com/shanboodram Get a free weekly Love Letter from Shan → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes ________________________ Advertising & Other Inquiries: team@loversbyshan.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
- 2 weeks ago58 min
Romantic Love Is the Most Narrow Form of Love ft. Kendrick Sampson
Kendrick Sampson (founder of the racial justice nonprofit BLD PWR, actor best known as Nathan in Insecure and Quincy Jones in Michael Jackson's biopic) sits down with Shan to talk about loving widely. Kendrick grew up in a house where nobody said "I love you" after his parents divorced, so love turned into something you did instead of something you said. Love is choosing someone else's needs over your own wants. It's why he has no plan for a romantic relationship, why he separates sex, pleasure, and love into three completely different things, and why he'll tell you flat out that romantic love is actually the smallest, most narrow kind there is. His 25 nieces and nephews come first. If he ever has kids, he wants to raise them with a homegirl, no romance required, because the village already exists. This is a conversation about what happens when you stop assuming a partner is the endpoint, and start asking who you're actually accountable to. —------- Showing some love to the sponsor of this episode Hollyood Ending. It is the book everyone will be talking about this fall. Buy Hollywood, Ending now wherever books are sold. Ready to reach your goals? Visit forhers.com/shan to get personalized, affordable care that gets you. Follow Kendrick Sampson Instagram: http://instagram.com/kendrick38 Follow BLD PWR Instagram: http://instagram.com/bldpwrYouTube: youtube.com/@buildpowertv Want more LOVERS? Follow Shan on Instagram → http://instagram.com/shanboodram Get a Lovers Letters from Shan → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
- 3 weeks ago48 min
I'm (Still) Concerned About Our Love, Pt. 3
Every couple of years, after a stretch that tested us, Jared and I climb onto the roof in the same outfit and talk honestly about what it did to our relationship. We did it in 2022 and again in 2024, and the second time a lot of people watched two exhausted parents be imperfect and decided that was the verdict on the whole thing. We're doing it anyway, because the hard years reach your love life whether you film it or not. This summer the kids were home for six weeks, the business didn't pause, several of my longest relationships shifted at once, and somewhere in there we had our worst argument in six years. It looked like it was about one day. It was actually about neither of us having the room to feel anything, and what happens when one person finally does. Jared explains why he didn't come over and hold me (an honest answer, not a flattering one), I explain why a voucher I printed him for exactly this moment stayed in his closet, and we get into how sex has changed as the kids have gotten older, including the 25-minute challenge he almost survived. This is a conversation about staying kind to the person closest to you when you have nothing left. If you've ever been graded on your worst week, this one is for you. _________ Thanks to Article for sponsoring this podcast! Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. To claim, visit ARTICLE.COM/LOVERS and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout. My pickiest eaters have no complaints on this one! Explore my Hungryroot Digital Cookbook "Recipes My Kids Will Actually Finish (No Bribery Required)." at https://hungryroot.com/LOVERS Ready to reach your goals? Visit forhers.com/shan to get personalized, affordable care that gets you. Stay hydrated every single day with Ultima Replenisher: Head to https://ultima.yt.link/cIC3aOP and use the code LOVERSBYSHAN20 for 20% off your order! _______ Follow Jared Brady Instagram: http://instagram.com/enjoyjaredbrady YouTube: youtube.com/@enjoyovereverything Want more LOVERS? Follow Shan Instagram → http://instagram.com/shanboodram Get a free weekly Love Letter from Shan → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
- 4 weeks ago45 min
He's Gay. She's a Lesbian. They're In a Co-Parenting Arrangement With Their Son
Brandi and Lawrence aren't a couple. He's a gay man, she's a lesbian, and they were best friends first, until they decided, in their twenties, to build a family together on purpose, with a legal parental agreement in place before they ever tried to conceive. They walk Shan through what that intentionality actually looked like. But underneath the logistics is the part nobody warned either of them about, the isolation Lawrence carried as the only man in his friend group building a family this way, and the year their living situation and their respective romantic relationships pulled the friendship apart so hard that Brandi had to tell Lawrence something she still calls one of the biggest heartbreaks of her life: that she could stay his co-parent, but she couldn't stay his friend. ____________ Ready to reach your goals? Visit https://www.forhers.com/shan to get personalized, affordable care that gets you. Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any MasterClass annual membership at https://www.masterclass.com/lovers Follow Parental Agreement Resource → https://u42luyhpb6f.typeform.com/agreement Website → https://theparentalagreement.godaddysites.com Follow Lawrence Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/lawrenceccarroll/ Majestic Art Gallery → https://majesticartgallery.org/ Donate to LA Pride → https://lapride.org/donate-to-la-pride/ Follow Brandi Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/brandijandrews/?hl=en Youth Dealer, skincare for melanated people → https://www.instagram.com/youthdealerco/?hl=en Want more Lover? Receive my Lovers Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
- Sep 2, 20261h 8m
Criticism Has No Place in a Relationship ft. The Gottmans
Drs. John and Julie Schwartz Gottman have followed 3,000 couples, some of them for twenty years, second by second, and in this conversation Shan brings them something that research was never designed to answer: what happens to a generation that has decided love isn't available to them, and has built community around that belief instead? Julie's answer is that those groups are writing each other a prescription for how to stay alone, and she says it with a tenderness that's hard to argue with. From there the three of them get into why criticism sabotages the exact thing you were trying to be heard about, why listening to a woman's anger is one of the strongest predictors of a relationship improving over time, and what John pulls out of his back pocket every time Julie says the four most terrifying words in the English language. This one is for anyone who has started to suspect that being right about dating and being loved are not the same project. ____________ Ready to reach your goals? Visit https://www.forhers.com/shan to get personalized, affordable care that gets you. Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any MasterClass annual membership at https://www.masterclass.com/lovers ____________ Follow The Gottmans Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gottmaninstitute YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/thegottmaninstitute TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thegottmaninstitute The Gottman Institute: https://www.gottman.com Courses and Books: https://www.gottman.com/shop/ Want more LOVERS? Follow Shan on Instagram → http://instagram.com/shanboodram Get a free weekly Love Letter from Shan → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes ________________________ Advertising & Other Inquiries: team@loversbyshan.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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About LOVERS by Shan
LOVERS by Shan is an education-first space where listeners come to better understand their own intimate lives through the life lessons and expertise of others. Shan Boodram’s mission is to empower everyone to be their own intimacy expert in the bedroom and beyond by treating guests of the podcast as educators in their own right. Past guests include Kelly Rowland who taught us about being a sensualist. Becky G who shared the importance of healthy love in an unhealthy body. Kerry Washington who warned about the dangers of keeping secrets. Kamie Crawford who taught us about the joys of breaking up. Jesse Reyez who reminded us that it's alright to admit you're the one who let a good one get away.
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