The Autistic VOICE Project

Episode 46: Autistic Grief, Co-Regulation, and the People Who Keep Us Human

May 15, 2026·46 min
Episode Description from the Publisher

Matt and Erin are back for another mailbag episode — and this one gets deeply personal. From losing an “anchor person” to navigating autistic grief, relationships, PDA parenting, and co-regulation, this episode explores what happens when the people who help hold our world together are suddenly gone or overwhelmed. It’s vulnerable, funny, heartbreaking, and very, very autistic.We cover:Why autistic grief can feel like losing your “internal compass” — not just a loved oneHow partners, friends, and safe people often function as essential disability supportsThe fear, disorientation, and loneliness that can come after losing an “anchor person”Matt and Erin’s personal experiences with divorce, loss, burnout, and rebuilding stabilityPDA parenting, “dueling gremlins,” and how co-regulation creates room for flexibilityWhy autistic love is often rooted in safety, routine, and nervous system reliefTransformers, Doctor Who, fountains, art galaxies, chicken nuggets, and the sacred role of biscuits and gravyAlso: the loneliest whale in the ocean, emotional support toast, “people…” as a replacement swear word, and Matt casually admitting he’d probably make a good spicy audiobook narrator.

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