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Office Hours with Arthur Brooks: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Arthur Brooks
I’m Arthur Brooks, a social scientist, professor at the Harvard Kennedy School and Harvard Business School, and columnist at The Atlantic. I write, speak, and teach about the science of human happiness, blending neuroscience, behavioral science, philosophy, and religion for insights on how to live better, and be happier. Each week on Office Hours, you’ll get a glimpse into the cutting edge research on happiness, and explore how you can use it to improve your life—and share what you learn with those you love.
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- 4 days ago49 min
The Real Cost of Family Estrangement
Family estrangement is strangely common—affecting one-third of American adults today. While cutting ties can bring temporary relief, research suggests that, over time, it often resembles grief.In this episode of Office Hours, I explore why family, one of the four pillars of happiness, is central to meaning, what is driving the rise in estrangement, and why conflicts over values and identity have become so difficult to repair. Most importantly, I discuss what it actually takes to mend broken relationships: the difference between healthy boundaries and permanent rupture, and the two qualities that help families overcome deep disagreement and stay connected. —Brought to you by:• David Protein—The most effective portable protein on the planet https://davidprotein.com/arthur• Noble Mobile—With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at: https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks —Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/• In-person Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/• Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com—Timestamps: Intro Why family estrangement feels so painful How common is family estrangement Why family estrangement happens The rise of the “no-contact” movement What the data shows about going no-contact The two ingredients every family needs What tolerance really means Why forgiveness is essential in families The hidden incentives behind encouraging family division Q&A: Finding reciprocity in friendships Q&A: Attachment styles and finding love Q&A: Meeting a future spouse in person—Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-of-your-life • Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership • Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale • The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.co
- 1 weeks ago45 min
The Diet Protocols for Happiness
We obsess over diets, fasting, and weight-loss drugs in the name of health. But we rarely ask a more important question: what kind of eating actually makes us happier?In this episode of Office Hours, I explore what the science say about the relationship between food and well-being. Eating gives us pleasure, but meals bring deeper enjoyment when they also combine people and memories. I explore what that means in practice along with seven other practical rules for “happy eating.”In the end, happiness at the table depends less on the food than the company. As my Spanish wife likes to say: the point of eating is not the food—it’s the love.—Brought to you by:• David Protein—The most effective portable protein on the planet https://davidprotein.com/arthur• Noble Mobile—With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at: https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks —Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/• In-person Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/• Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com—Timestamps: Intro Why eating is pleasurable—and why pleasure alone does not create happiness Two ways to turn pleasure into enjoyment How both positive and negative emotions influence eating Why eating moderately often is linked to greater happiness Dietary patterns associated with greater happiness What the research shows about alcohol and well-being Junk food’s impact on mood and well-being The pros and cons of a vegetarian diet Why crash diets are bad for your well-being and happiness Time-restricted eating and GLP-1 drugs #1: Balance across a variety of foods #2: Emphasize proteins and fats #3: Avoid junk food and refined sweets #4: Moderate alcohol consumption #5: No recreational drinking #6: Avoid obesity without starving yourself #7: Organized, regular, formal meal times #8: Meals in the company of others Q&A: The neuroscience behind how books affect our brains Q&A: Leisure vs. Sabbath —Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: themeaningofyourlife.com• Meaning Membership:<a href="https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership" ta
- 2 weeks ago47 min
4 Ways to Get Better at Friendship
We spend much of our lives building our careers. We chase success, recognition, and expansive networks—yet despite all of it, many of us still experience a quiet, persistent loneliness.In this episode of Office Hours, I turn to Aristotle and his work, the Nicomachean Ethics, to ask an age-old question: what makes a good friend? I’ll explore Aristotle’s three types of friendship, and suggest something that sounds counterintuitive: the best of friends are perfectly useless. I also share four practical ways to deepen the friendships you already have, and cultivate more of these useless relationships that create real meaning, deeper happiness, and a life well lived. —Brought to you by:• Noble Mobile—With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at: https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks —Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/• In-person Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/• Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com—Timestamps: Intro Why close friendships are essential to happiness What a healthy friendship ecosystem looks like Aristotle’s three types of friendship Real friends vs. deal friends Friendship step #1: Give yourself a friendship checkup Friendship step #2: Identify the people who truly know you Friendship step #3: Go deep or go home Friendship step #4: Make more friends that you don’t need Q&A: Adjusting to home after a year abroad Q&A: Building better habits —Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: themeaningofyourlife.com• Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership • Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale • The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur• Why You Should Want to Be Alone: https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2024/07/hermit-solitude-benefits-happiness/678955• I Matter to My Friend, Therefore I am Happy: Friendship, Mattering, and Happiness: <a
- 3 weeks ago43 min
Stop Trying to be Perfect
Sometimes, the most insidious thing someone can tell you to make you feel better is the age-old phrase, “but you’re perfect!” While research suggests this may ease emotional pain temporarily, it might actually be holding you back from growth and, consequently, satisfaction.In this episode of Office Hours, I explore why we avoid uncomfortable truths when feeling down, and why the better path towards fulfillment is honest self-acceptance—embracing your imperfections, and taking on the challenge to improve.—Brought to you by:• Noble Mobile—With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at: https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks —Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/• In-person Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/• Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com—Timestamps: Intro The psychology of self-enhancement bias Who suffers most from self-enhancement bias Why we protect others with comforting lies What the research shows about self-enhancement bias #1: You’re not perfect but you’re normal #2: Accept yourself #3: Work to improve #4: Don’t blame other people #5: Reframe imperfections as puzzles Q&A: People pleasing and happiness Q&A: Finding time for happiness in a busy life Q&A: Teaching happiness habits to young children—Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: themeaningofyourlife.com• Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale • The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur• I'm OK--You're OK: The Pioneering and Bestselling Self-Help Guide: https://www.amazon.com/Im-OK-Youre-OK-Thomas-Harris/dp/0060724277• Taking time seriously. A theory of socioemotional selectivity: htt
- May 4, 202636 min
How to Enjoy Your Life
Want to miss (or forget) life’s sweetest moments? Easy: don’t savor anything. My late mother, an artist, knew this was a terrible strategy for happiness. Through her art, she was an expert at savoring—and the first to teach me its benefits.In this episode of Office Hours, I connect her lesson to what we now know from behavioral science: because of our built-in negativity bias, we tend to overlook positive experiences unless we make an effort to notice them. I’ll share three simple ways to do that—so you can experience your life more deeply, remember it more clearly, and find meaning even in the hard moments.Want to go deeper on this—and other ideas from the podcast—and actually put them into practice? If you’re ready to do that work in person, I’ve partnered with MEA, a transformational science-backed retreat center, to bring these principles to life through a series of retreats in Santa Fe. You can find the details at retreats.arthurbrooks.com.—Brought to you by:• David Protein—The most effective portable protein on the planet https://davidprotein.com/arthur—Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/• Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/• Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com—Timestamps: Intro What savoring really is How savoring affects your brain and body How savoring shapes your memory Negativity bias and why it’s hard to savor #1: Savor in all three time zones #2: Expand your savoring techniques #3: How I do it–what are you looking forward to How to savor difficult experiences to support growth Q&A: Making space for relationships in a demanding season of work Q&A: Finding a religion that resonates Q&A: Finding a calling—Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: themeaningofyourlife.com• Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership • Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale • The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur• Savoring the past: Positive memories evoke value representations in the striatum: <a href="https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4254527" target="_
- Apr 27, 202640 min
How to Manage Grief
Grief is part of the human experience. If you love, you will lose. And when you do, the pain is inescapable. It can be disorienting, overwhelming, and in the case of acute grief, the symptoms can even resemble something like psychosis.In this episode of Office Hours, I explore what grief actually is, how it is lived and felt by those who are bereaved, and why these reactions—however unsettling—are not signs of dysfunction. They are, in fact, evidence of something profoundly good: the depth of our love and devotion to one another.The aim is not to eliminate grief—that is neither possible nor desirable—but to approach it with understanding. In doing so, we can move toward our suffering rather than away from it, extend compassion to others walking a similar path, and begin to discover meaning within our loss.—Brought to you by:• David Protein—The most effective portable protein on the planet https://davidprotein.com/arthur—Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/• Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/• Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com—Timestamps: Intro The story of Itaru Sasaki’s wind phone What grief is Grief vs. bereavement Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s five stages of grief and newer research The brain’s response to grief How long does it take to get through grief Post-traumatic growth and the five areas that often improve #1. Look for meaning #2. Change your identity #3. Adopt rituals #4. Let yourself be happy again #5. Help others with grief Q&A: How failure helps your career Q&A: Getting married in a church after leaving it Q&A: Breaking the cycle of self-blame —Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: themeaningofyourlife.com• Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership • Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale • The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur• My Wind Phone (wind phone directory): https://www.mywindphone.com• Treatment of complicated grief: a randomized controlled trial: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15928281• ...References continued at: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours—Production and marketing by https://penname.co/.
- Apr 20, 202633 min
Why You Literally Need to Touch Grass
In a previous episode on leisure, I talked about how fewer and fewer people are spending time outdoors. Today, the average child spends just minutes outside each day, a dramatic shift from how most of us grew up and from how humans have lived for thousands of years.In today’s episode of Office Hours, I explain why reconnecting with nature is essential for your happiness and well-being. Drawing on research from psychology and neuroscience, I show how time outdoors can reduce anxiety and depression, improve cognitive function, and even help you break free from the constant cycle of comparison and rumination.You might think your life is not compatible with spending more time outside. But the evidence suggests the opposite: you can’t afford not to. I share with you three practical ways to bring nature back into your daily life. I hope you try them and get outside to touch some grass!—Brought to you by:Noble Mobile—With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at: https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks —Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/• Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/• Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com—Timestamps: Intro How much time do people spend outdoors today? Why we’re spending more time inside What happens when you don’t get enough time outdoors What happens when you add nature back in #1: Spend as much time as you can outside #2: Witness/touch nature #3: Start a walking routine Why you’ll enjoy being in nature more than you think Lessons from transcendentalism Q&A: The difference between happiness and joy Q&A: Serving others without resentment—Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: themeaningofyourlife.com• Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership • Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale • The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur • Global survey finds we’re lacking fresh air and natural light, as we
- Apr 13, 202649 min
6 Big Lessons to Build Your Dream Life with Sahil Bloom
Sahil Bloom is an entrepreneur and investor, and the author of the New York Times bestselling book The 5 Types of Wealth.Most of us chase success that doesn’t reflect what we truly value. In this episode, Sahil and I explore how to close that gap and live more intentionally—starting with the bold decision he made to move his family for more time with loved ones.We unpack the difference between what you want and what you wish you wanted, dive into the five types of wealth, and end with six practical lessons to help you build a life that actually aligns with your values.—Where to find Sahil Bloom:• X: https://x.com/SahilBloom• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sahilbloom• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/p/Sahil-Bloom-100086913108285• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0vZSXQHRGPNZMFAKPLJcww • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sahilbloom• Website: https://www.sahilbloom.com• Newsletter: https://www.sahilbloom.com/newsletter —Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/• Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/• Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com—Timestamps: Intro Why Sahil relocated to live near his parents The five types of wealth Why it never hurts to reach out When your actions don’t match your values The case for auditing how your values and actions align Why achievement alone doesn’t bring happiness What a successful life actually is Why struggle is necessary for true satisfaction Suffering as proof of living Sahil’s mistakes 6 lessons to build the life you want —Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: themeaningofyourlife.com• Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale • The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur • The 5 Types of Wealth: A Trans
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About Office Hours with Arthur Brooks
I’m Arthur Brooks, a social scientist, professor at the Harvard Kennedy School and Harvard Business School, and columnist at The Atlantic. I write, speak, and teach about the science of human happiness, blending neuroscience, behavioral science, philosophy, and religion for insights on how to live better, and be happier. Each week on Office Hours, you’ll get a glimpse into the cutting edge research on happiness, and explore how you can use it to improve your life—and share what you learn with those you love.
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