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You're Not Too Much: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Lauren "L2" Howard
Welcome to You're Not Too Much, a podcast about how you're not too much—they're not enough. Space expands, so let's fill it. You’ve spent your whole life feeling like something’s wrong with you. Here’s a radical thought: what if you’re not too much? This is your no-filter, emotionally intelligent, occasionally sweary podcast that challenges the idea that we all have to fit inside neat little boxes to be acceptable. Hosted by L2 (aka Lauren Howard), this show dives into the real, raw and ridiculous sides of being neurodivergent, introverted, chronically underestimated—and still completely worthy. Expect deeply honest conversations about identity, neurodivergence, gender, work, grief, anxiety and everything in between. There’ll be tears, dead dad jokes, side quests, and a whole lot of swearing. If you are tired of pretending to be someone you’re not, this space is for you. Come for the chaos. Stay for the catharsis. Linger for the dead Dad jokes.
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- 5 days ago20 min
The Cornell 7: They Assign Essays When They're Embarrassed
Content note: the second half of this episode talks about sexual assault.Senior year. AP Government. A teacher who was also a lawyer, who made us call him Doctor, and who told us in literally every class to question authority.So one day, we did.The test he left made no sense. We talked it through as a class, decided not to take it until he could clarify, and left him a signed note explaining why.He came back furious. Threatened to fail all of us. Gave us a presentation on groupthink. Then assigned us two five-page essays.It took me years to understand what that was.They assign essays when they're embarrassed that you did what they taught you to do.Which is why I can't stop thinking about Cornell, where a lawsuit filed this month says a woman was sexually assaulted by seven fraternity members in 2024, and that some of them were allowed to write an essay to keep their place at school. Cornell says essays weren't anybody's only consequence. I'd love to see the rest of the list.The two stories are miles apart. The intent behind the punishment is the same.This is cultural. It's not an accident. And an essay is not a punishment.Since I recorded this, the Tompkins County District Attorney has reopened the criminal investigation and says the case is going to a grand jury.00:00:00 Cold open00:00:19 Welcome to You're Not Too Much00:00:33 The teacher who made us call him Doctor00:04:05 The test nobody could take00:06:38 He came back the next day00:08:48 About that doctorate00:11:47 The point: Cornell and the essay00:14:37 This is cultural, not an accident00:15:24 Miles apart. Same intent.00:17:52 Cornell should be ashamedIf this brings anything up for you, RAINN's National Sexual Assault Hotline is free, confidential and open 24/7. Call 800-656-4673, text HOPE to 64673, or chat at rainn.org.More at yourenottoomuchpodcast.com · Leave me a voicemail at yourenottoomuchpodcast.com/voicemail
- 1 weeks ago23 min
Brain Fog and Existential Dread: Why I Can't Find My Words
This episode is sponsored by Aging Together. Founded by occupational therapist Dr. Pooja A. Patel, Aging Together helps families navigate aging and caregiving before it becomes a crisis. Start your journey today at aging-together.com/nottoomuch where you can use discount code NOTTOOMUCH10 for $10 off the already-discounted elder care planning bundles.I don't want to brag, but I am very advanced for my age.Not in the good way. My short-term memory is gone, my word recall has the range of somebody thirty years older than me, and my entire skill set is words. That's it. That's the whole job.I lost the word for grass. In a yard. Looking at grass.So this one is me trying to work out what's actually going on in there — perimenopause, dehydration, the crushing existential dread of this timeline, or the sheer number of people who need something from me at any given time. Spoiler: it's all of it.We get into what it actually costs to be the person everyone offloads to, why delegating something and then having to chase it isn't delegating at all, and why my calendar is now the only place reality is stored.And Janna asks whether hyperfocus is an asset in a small business or just expensive, which I did not enjoy being asked.If you're finding yourself unable to find your words, they're fine. They're in a field somewhere having a lovely time without you.Come stand in the corner with me. We can cry together.Chapters00:00:00 Cold open00:00:45 Welcome to You're Not Too Much00:00:59 I am very advanced for my age00:01:38 The word was grass00:02:26 My entire skill set is words00:03:08 You want some anxiety? I've got extra00:03:31 Shiny object, and the link I never click00:05:29 What it's actually like in here00:06:21 I could tell you where I got everything in my closet00:06:58 I don't remember where I got these kids00:07:12 Why this timeline is making it worse00:09:11 The personal load on top of the cosmic one00:10:38 Delegating isn't offloading00:12:53 Break00:12:57 The anxiety that never switches off00:13:38 Two thoughts, all the time00:14:51 Every time the phone pings00:15:50 Healthcare. That's the thing that we do.00:16:46 Come stand in the corner with me00:17:25 Ask L2: is hyperfocus an asset or just expensive?00:21:47 Love you, mean itMore at yourenottoomuchpodcast.com · Got a question for Ask L2? Leave it at yourenottoomuchpodcast.com/voicemail
- 2 weeks ago25 min
How to Survive a Toxic Job When You Can't Afford to Quit
It was like a switch flipped.I had a job. Jobs are good. We like jobs. It paid my bills, it sucked, it was awful, and it was crushing my soul — and I had decided that's just what being an adult is. My whole life was operating in shades of gray. Not the interesting kind. Nothing was exciting, and it didn't even occur to me that things were supposed to be.Then one insidious thought got into my brain: if the alternative to this sucks and this already sucks, why not try the new suck?Thirty seconds later I was done. My CEO sent me a Slack at 8:30 one morning — not the worst thing he'd ever said, honestly pretty benign — but the glass was already broken, and you can't put glass back together. Resignation letter, thirty minutes later. Zero plan. Zero idea what was next.I don't regret it. The whole life I have now came out of that one decision.But I wish I'd done it differently, and that's the actual episode.Then an Ask L2 from Tanya: do you tell a new client you're neurodivergent before you start, or are you just handing them a reason to be weird about you for six months?And if you want the version of this with actual people in the room, we've just launched Leave Your Sh*tty Job over at What The Fractional. It's pay what you can, the minimum is a dollar, and the point of it is that you end up leaving or staying because it's the choice you made, not the one you got forced into: https://whatthefractional.com🎧Every episode: https://yourenottoomuchpodcast.com📞Leave me a voicemail: https://yourenottoomuchpodcast.com/voicemail💬 Come find the rest of us: https://alwaysquirky.com
- 3 weeks ago17 min
Lindsay Clancy, Postpartum Illness and Why We're Missing the Point
I miss my dad. You know that.What you might not know is that he was a forensic psychiatrist for 55 years, I ran his practice for 10 of them, and on a case like Lindsay Clancy's, he's exactly who would've been called to testify. So for the last couple of weeks I've had his voice in my ear. Screaming.Not about postpartum illness. That conversation is correct — women get sick after babies, they're scared to say so, they deserve better help. All of it, yes.He'd be screaming because that's not what happened here.Lindsay Clancy was diagnosed bipolar. That came out at trial. She was complaining of racing thoughts, worsening intrusive thoughts and no sleep, and somebody's answer was to increase her antidepressant — a thing that is documented to make bipolar patients worse. Her illness didn't make her psychotic. Her medication did. And if we don't separate "postpartum illness" from "shit-ass medical care," every woman who's already scared to disclose gets more scared.I'm not a clinician. I say that about six times in this episode. This is his rant, from beyond the grave, delivered by the person who sat in the depositions.Heads up: this one talks about postpartum mental illness, bipolar disorder, the Lindsay Clancy case (including the deaths of her children) and, briefly, suicide. Look after yourself.If you're postpartum and struggling: Postpartum Support International, 1-800-944-4773.If you're in crisis: call or text 988.
- Sep 5, 20263 min
Idris Elba Lost His Piece In My Bedroom Once - A Saturday Sidequest
Idris Elba jumped off my nightstand at three o'clock in the morning.Ten minutes before my alarm. Which was also set for three o'clock in the morning, because I had that much work to get to. There is nothing in that room that can fall, and I lay there in the dark going "what?"So Kyle and I went looking for the piece, under nightstands that have about an eight-inch gap at the bottom.⏱️ Chapters00:00:00 I named my CPAP Idris Elba00:00:11 3am: the thunk00:00:45 The clip is broken00:01:28 One plastic clip is my entire edge00:01:58 Under the nightstand00:02:27 I am leaving the dust bunnies00:02:46 Kyle was not leaving the dust bunnies00:03:15 Vacuuming at 11pm
- Sep 2, 202619 min
Women at Work: You’re Not Too Much, They’re Not Enough
Every time I talk publicly about being a woman at work, the first response is the same. It’s never "that sounds hard." It’s "well, I had a terrible boss once, and she was a woman."Yeah. Okay. Women are allowed to suck, too. Plenty of men suck and we just accept that as fine.So this episode is about the two women you’re allowed to be in a workplace that was not built for you. The one who shrinks to fit — who gets told she’s too big, too loud, too many ideas, and folds all of it up inside herself, hands her ideas to somebody else so they’ll get heard, stops saying the thing she knows is going to go wrong. And the one who strikes to kill — who was taught there’s only ever room for one of her, so she leaves no space for the next one coming up behind.They’re the same woman. Same message, two ways out. You are not allowed here, you should feel lucky we let you in, and if you’re uncomfortable with how we do things then you should shut up or leave.I’ve talked to thousands of women over the last five years who live inside that, and I lived inside it myself. I’m the person who had to hand her idea to the nearest male coworker because it would be taken seriously from him and ignored from me.All of that is evidence of a problem with the workplace. It is not evidence of a problem with you.You are not intimidating. They’re intimidated. Nobody is going to make them do the work to find out why you’re such a threat, so you’re going to stay a threat — but you do not have to make yourself smaller to fix something you didn’t break. You’ve been the same person the whole time.You are not too much. They are not enough.Plus: breaking news on the semicolon rant, in which four actual English professors turn up to tell me I was right. And an Ask L2 from Kieran, who wants an exemption from the don’t-fight-with-pigs rule for a pig who owes him $4,000.CHAPTERS00:00:00 "You are not allowed here"00:00:23 Welcome to You’re Not Too Much00:00:37 What always happens when I talk about women at work00:01:08 Women are allowed to suck, too00:01:46 I wish you the success of the mediocre white male00:02:25 Persona one: the woman who shrinks to fit00:04:13 Persona two: the woman who strikes to kill00:05:09 Both of those are the same thing00:06:37 Thousands of women, same paradigm00:07:57 Give it to your nearest male coworker00:08:19 A problem with the workplace, not a problem with you00:08:28 You are not intimidating. They’re intimidated.00:09:03 What you actually owe a job you need00:09:44 You are not too much00:10:04 They are not enough00:10:57 Do enough to survive, then find a place that doesn’t suck00:11:05 Ten thousand levers you don’t need to pull00:11:20 You’ve been the same person the whole time00:11:55 Your five to nine is better than your nine to five00:12:03 A toxic waste dump and no hazmat suit00:12:31 What professionalism actually means00:12:57 Why the show is now called You’re Not Too Much00:13:25 Breaking news: the semicolon rant, vindicated00:15:26 Ask L2 — "This pig owes me $4,000"00:16:37 You can have whatever tone you want00:17:15 The strongly worded emailEvery episode: https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.comLeave me a voicemail: https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemailCome find the rest of us: https://alwaysquirky.com
- Aug 29, 20263 min
Husband's New Toy - A Saturday SideQuest
I heard the Fed Ex van. Which means my husband bought something else stupid.P.S. If you are the household's designated Reasonable Adult — the one doing the mental maths on everybody else's impulse purchases — this is a very short episode to let you know you are very seen.
- Aug 26, 202630 min
He Smashed Into It — Then Waited 9 Hours To Tell Me To My Face
Right. Semicolons.There is one rule of semicolons. I wonder if you can guess what that is. I was a journalism major and the first time my professor taught us the situations where a semicolon is appropriate, I put my hand up and told him the only rule is don't. If you disagree you may want to skip this episode. But not before you bite me.But that's just one of the things we have for this week, friends.We walked out of the house to go and get french fries and there was a car two houses down that didn't look right. When we tracked the skid marks back to their origin, we quickly found out why. I'll tell you all about Carlos. Spoiler alert, this story is not going where you think it is.Then Ask L2, from Ray: everyone tells him the money's in the room, but the room is two hundred people, a buffet and compulsory eye contact. Is there a version of networking that doesn't involve the room? Grab a pen. I have the lesson plan for you.🎧 Apple Podcasts | SpotifyMembership community for awesome people who know they're worth more than the standard average mediocre white men: http://whatthefractional.com/📞 Voicemail line, for Ask L2 questions, small talk, brags and fights: https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemail💬 Come and argue with us in the Quirky community, it's free: https://alwaysquirky.com
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About You're Not Too Much
Welcome to You're Not Too Much, a podcast about how you're not too much—they're not enough. Space expands, so let's fill it. You’ve spent your whole life feeling like something’s wrong with you. Here’s a radical thought: what if you’re not too much? This is your no-filter, emotionally intelligent, occasionally sweary podcast that challenges the idea that we all have to fit inside neat little boxes to be acceptable. Hosted by L2 (aka Lauren Howard), this show dives into the real, raw and ridiculous sides of being neurodivergent, introverted, chronically underestimated—and still completely worthy. Expect deeply honest conversations about identity, neurodivergence, gender, work, grief, anxiety and everything in between. There’ll be tears, dead dad jokes, side quests, and a whole lot of swearing. If you are tired of pretending to be someone you’re not, this space is for you. Come for the chaos. Stay for the catharsis. Linger for the dead Dad jokes.
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